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5:50 Going for a quick cigarette outside before awards begin.

6:00 Opening spiel, then NPH singing in a white dinner jacket. Yummy.

6:04 ” I grew up on television.”

6:05 Shaiman and Whitman wrote the song. Knew it.

6:07 Tour of the Emmy set.

6:09 Funny Emmy clip reel.

6:11 Jon Hamm ( sigh) and Tina Fey ( sigh). Supporting Actress in a comedy.

6:12 WTF Chenoweth?

6:13 The winner is… Kristin Chenoweth (stunner shocker but happiness!) She sobs her way funnily through her speech. I wanna hug her.

6:08 Comedy categories first. I’m suddenly very nervous for hubby Jim Parsons.

6:21 Some Neil and Hodgman funnies, then a convenient plug for HIMYM.

6:22 So surprised 30 Rock won a writing award. (Sarcasm)

6:27 Jon Cryer wins. Why?

6:28 One very pissed off NPH/30 Rock fan right here. ARGH!

6:33 I’m very worried about the rest of my picks. I’m 1 for three. The one- writing.

6:35 Justin Timberlake presenting Actress in a Comedy series. And he’s funny and charming.

6:36 Toni Colette wins. I’m way off tonight. I’m trying to figure out what tonight is gonna be. Watch Charlie Sheen win in a couple of minutes.  This is turning into a nightmare show for me 9 although I like Toni and Kristin, I like their shows, but I honestly thought they wouldn’t win).

6:39 NPH asks Cryer to show the envelope. It really does say ” Jon Cryer”.

6:41 The GG girls turn it over to Tina and JT, who thank Lorne Michaels for their Guest Actor wins. Then the GG girls present  Best Comedy direction to The Office’s Jeff Blitz.

6:48 Rob Lowe presenting Actor in a comedy. He mocks himself.

6:52 I’m gonna drink an entire bottle of wine right now and drown ,y tears because Jim Parsons did not win.

7:29 I have spent the last forty minutes trying to fix a computer crash. Rundown- Reality shows no surprise, mini/TV movies are pretty ho hum. Dr. Horrible- hilarious! Love the buffering jokes. And Captain Hammer to boot. Jessica Lange beats out Drew Barrymore.

7:59 Apparently Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco were on stage with Jim Parsons when he presented. I didn’t notice as I laid at the foot of my TV stand staring worshipfully at a comedy God who was robbed of his Emmy. Really, I need a life.

8:01 I do not have a problem. All of you shut up.

8:02 Jimmy Fallon won as a member of the SNL writing team, right?

8:03 Jimmy is making me laugh. He hasn’t done this since he was on SNL.

8:05 It has to be “Motherlover”. Seriously.

8:05 It’s the Oscars team. Are you kidding me?

8:06 Ricky Gervais. Worshiping at the feet of the king.

8:07 ” Me, again.” HA!

8:08 Gervais present best comedy variety show to The Daily Show. Never disappointed when TDS gang wins. As I am also much in ,love with Jon Stewart. Have been since his MTV talk show in the mid 90s.

8:16 Prezzie time. But no Prezzie speech. Thank God.

8:17 Drama time. Great. Night should be ending soon. Crushing disappointments tonight. Cryer/Baldwin just took me out.

8:19 LL and Chris O’Donnell not funny at all. Supporting Actor goes to… Michael Emerson. My best friend Rosie probably just screamed with joy. I still couldn’t tell you what role he played.

8:21 Chris and LL also doing Supporting Actress. And that award goes to Cherry Jones.  Who is a theater goddess, so we are delighted.

8:23 In Memorium.

8:33 Hot vampires!

8:35 Ellen Burstyn and Michael J. Fox present directing for drama.

8:36 The award goes to the E.R. dude.

8:37 Now they present drama writing. I’m guessing… Mad Men.

8:38 Yeah, shocker again (Sarcasm).

8:39 Yeah, I’m one of those guys at Starbucks with a computer or notebook, writing away.

8:40 Simon ” Hot accent” Baker is presenting the actress drama award to Glenn Close. I am WAY OFF  with these damn acting awards this year. WTF?

8:44 Right now I’m kinda hoping Hugh Laurie wins and makes me 0-for-eight for acting awards.

8: 48 Dana Delaney presents Actor in a drama.  Bryan Cranston wins. This is the one I get right. And he rightfully deserves it. His performance is searing.

8:52 Bob Newhart presents Best Comedy. And drones on a bit.  But has some good lines.

8:54 30 Rock. Which is about as surprising as me eating peanut M&Ms.

8:56 I have never been so unhappy to see Cat Deeley in my life. I want my final award.

9:00 Emmys are going over.

9:00 I’m actually looking forward to Criminal Minds.

9:01 Sigourney Weaver presents best drama to Mad Men. No effing surprise.

That is it for the night and the year. Early surprises in acting awards turn into a night where many repeat winners come along.  Still crushed about Jim Parsons losing. May never be okay again…

Can’t wait until The Big Bang Theory premieres tomorrow night.

Till the next one ( Golden Globes in January, everyone!)

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On Emmy night ( September 20, 2009), I will be doing my Emmy commentary live through out the night. You’re all invited. Seriously.

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Eddie Murphy presents the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian award to Jerry Lewis, who gives a short, humble speech. The orchestra then launches into a medley of Oscar nominated scores, and Slumdog’s A.R. Rahman wins that category. We then get a medley of Oscar nominated songs, in which John Legend aquits himself nicely doing Peter Gabriel, and we learn Jai Ho and We’re Going Down mix beautifully together ( Peter Gabriel- there’s your next record!). A.R. Rahman wins that one as well, for Jai Ho.

We finally get a WTF? winner- Freida Pinto and Liam neeson announce the only real surprise of the evening as Japan’s Departures beats out the better known Baader Meinhoff Complex, The Class, and preshow fave Waltz With Bashir ( the one that won almost every pre Oscar award it could). There has to be a surprise every Oscar,a nd this appears to be this years. So far.

Queen Latifah does the In Memorium section of our show. She sings ” I’ll Be Seeing You” beautifully as Paul Newman and Sydney Pollack win the applause-o-meter. So sad to see the faces of Stan winston, Michael Crichton, Bernie Mac, Sydney Pollack, Anthony Minghella, Harold Pinter, James Whitmore, Charlton Heston, Cyd Charrise, Newman, and Van Johnson pass by and remembering what they contributed to cinema.

Danny Boyle accepts his best director Oscar ” in the spirit of Tigger”, and gives a warm sppech in which he pays tribute to the city of Mumbai. He’s a delightful man. The award is well deserved ( Shallow Grave was one of my favorite films of the 1990s).

As the show now runs 20 plus minutes over schedule, Sophia Loren, Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry, Shirley MacLaine, and Marion Cotillard present Kate Winslet with her long overdue Oscar. Kate was warm, witty, and charming in her speech, almost tripping over her words as she honored Pollack and Mingehella for their role in The Reader. Sean Penn eked out a win over Mickey Rourke, and was funny and shit stirring in his speech, as he was the only one who acknowledged the protesters on the way in. Then Steven Spielberg presents the best picture award to Slumdog Millionaire.

Overall, I think that the show was one of the best in years. Hugh Jackman was a delightful host, and the show, while it did run long, felt a lot shorter than usual.  I thouroughly enjoyed myself despite the telegraphed winners.

And I’ll be back in 2010.

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Another video clip, this time directed by Judd Apatow, starring the Pineapple Express boys Seth Rogan and James Franco, with a cameo by two time Academy award winning cinematographer Janusz Kaminski. Among one of the funniest things I  have ever seen at the Oscars.  The trio present the live action short award to a German short I cannot spell the mane of ( German not being a language i’m familiar with).

Hugh comes out in tails, and launches into a good Oscar musical number ( those are rarer than… well, I can’t recall the last one.) A tribute to Fred Astaire, a gorgeous reveal of Beyonce, add in Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens ( High School Musical), and Dominic Cooper and Amanda Seyfried ( Mamma Mia!), and we get a show stopper. Thanks, Baz Luhrman.

Best Supporting Actor- a foregone conclusion, but I still sobbed as Heath’s family payed tribute to the missing talent from the show.

Bill Maher presented the Doc categories, and Man On Wire wins best feature, and Smile Pinki wins short.

Will Smith shows up to present the post production awards after another thrilling video piece, and the go as follows:

Visual Effects Editing- Ben Button

Sound editing- The Dark Knight

Sound Mixing- Slumdog Millionaire

Editing- Slumdog Millionaire

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This is the place to discuss fashion, your picks, and how RyRy Seacrest still annoys the crap out of you.Just look in the comments for my blinding wit…

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Same as the Grammys, but with preshow goodness as well, which means two hours more than Seacrest than one should really have in a week, but whatever, because there are clothes and Manolos and Fred Leighton…

Sorry, the realy girly girl part of me came out. i usually supress my fashionista side as I can afford nothing not available at Zellers and Superstore.

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Grammy Live Blog Part Ten

Ah, now Sugarland and Adele come and knock the HipHop Summit out of the Bronze position, but not as good as J-Hud breaking my heart or Al Green being Al Green, even with Justin Timberlake trading off vocals. Sorry, Kanye, I’ll make it up to you another Grammys.

By the way, I’m way too pumped now for TBBT- thanks CBS, good promo.

Gwyneth Paltrow brings out Radiohead. With astonishing ” 15 Step” on the table, and the USC Marching Band ( famed for their work on Fleetwood Mac’s ” Tusk”). The vocal mix is buried under the band. ( I am sure Thom wanted it that way).  But still, really good. I love me my Radiohead. What can I say, they really can’t do any wrong in my book.

Sam Jackson now joins the festivites to announce T.I. and Justin Timberlake,  both whom I like ( I think T.I. is the best rapper out there, even better than Weezy, yes). ” Dead And Gone” was amazing, guys.

President speech, everyone go have a drink.

I hate it when the President talks about compensation. I have no problem with that, but begging for a Secretary for the Arts is uncool( granted, we Canucks have a Minister of Heritage, so I guess that’s the same thing). But out then come SMOKEY! ( Motown geek girl I am, that makes me a little giddy). The Four Tops are his assignment, with Levi Stubbs now gone, so we get a new foursome singing ” Reach Out”, with Jamie Foxx, Ne-Yo, Duke Fakir, and the Smokey man himself.  I’m a little misty eyd again. I love the Four tops so much ( they were a fave of my mom’s- lots of good memories). They throw in some ” Standing In The Shadows Of Love ” as well. Awesomeness. Oh, hell ya, ” I Can’t help Myself”, too? I’m being spoiled here.

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Grammy Live Blog Part Nine

Okay, ” Swagga Like Us” is now in bronze medal position behind Golden Al and Silver Jenny.

Jack Black and Charlie Hayden, with Jack kissing ass to the F.I.L. ( didn’t know that, how’d I miss it?) Another Grammy Lifetime Achievement award, then we get best male pop vocal winner John Mayer comes up. The guy has won more Grammys than Elvis, go figure that one out. ( I have nothing against him, but whatever).

L.L. Cool J and Jay Mohr ( CBS star- do we get Jim Parsons? Sorry). announce Sugarland and Adele. They do the mash up thing, and it’s surprisingly  pretty, the Sugarland song ( I don’t listen to a ton of country, my previous experience with this song was Mark Day on Canadian Idol, which is the worst thing to happen to a Sugarland song ever).  Then Adele comes out and sings “Chasing Pavements”, one of the best songs of last year and sings with that soulfully amazing voice of hers. It’s effortless. I worship at the shrine of Brit Neo-Jazz-Soul voices. Nice support, Jennifer Nettles.

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Grammy Live Blog Part 7

Heh, the Bonus Jonas ( I’m paying attention to the ads- Big Bang Theory looks awesome tomorrow night, which airs after 2 1/2 Men due to the Presidential press conference. In a Craig Ferguson promo, Craig called himself the fourth Joni. Hee.)

Morgan Freeman, still recovering from his car crash last year, bringing out Kenny Chesney. ( really? They’re friends? Never woulda thought it.) This is the part where I go to the bathroom, apparently, as I hate Kenny Chesney.

Momentary note- I’ll post the BAFTA winners after the Grammys, but safe to say, Slumdog Millionaire picked up seven awards, so look for it to dominate in two weeks at the Oscars.

Back to a very boring song sung by a guy I can’t stand. I’m bored. I’m not kidding, I just checked my email. Oy.

DIDDY, Herbie Hancock, and Natalie Cole trot out to present for Record of the Year, ninety minutes in ( are you kidding me?).  It goes to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, who I adore, but sorry, M.I.A. deserved it more for her mind blowing, influential jam. Jeez.

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Grammy Live Blog Part 6

It’s still Rev. Al and J. Hud for the win.

Craig Ferguson, who was on my husbands list at one point, cracking me up. He’s presenting Katy Perry, who launches into ” I Kissed A Girl”. She decends in a banana. Her live vocal is obviously live as it sucks donkey balls,  but she’s a charming stage presence. It was also quite- energetic ( spazzy?)

Kanye…Kanye… wearing a disco ball for a coat, launches into Estelle’s “American Boy”, a charming seventies sounding throwback. Estelle appears to be wearing some weird glitter oragami project. My daughter commented that Kanye’s hair is an afro mullet.  Good performance, should garner some praise, and they present Best New Artist, which Kanye snidely remarks he never won, and it goes to Adele ( FUCK YEAH! I love her.) At least it didn’t go to the Joni. She’s charming and sweet and humble. I adore her.

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Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus together? Ew. My daughter is in heaven, though, she adores them both. Neither girl is great vocally live, as they both have rather thin voices, but they seem to be accrediting themselve pretty well, considering. My daughter just reminded me she’s only four years from fifteen. Argh! Not bad, girls. Then they award the best Pop Collab with Vocal to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss, which was definitely deserved.

J. Hud, sounding amazing, now.  The girl has pipes. I adore her, have since the Idol days. She looks amazing as well.  Damn, girl. I’m getting a little misty at the moment. Sniff. She’s knocked it out of the park, and expect her to be a major story tomorrow.

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Grammy’s Live Blog Part 3

So, okay, still thinking that Al Green is winning the night, as whatever, Coldplay didn’t blow me away ( they rarely do in the live situation, go figure).

Rev. Al and Duffy? Sure, make more sense than most pairings. Oooh, get the rev. to sing, that’s my girl, Duffy. No, don’t you start, too, girl. Not on ” Bridge over Troubled Water”. Song of the year so early? Why? The award goes to Coldplay, unsurprisingly. Hey, boys, I made the Sgt. Pepper’s comments on the previous thread, are you reading me on the Blackberry?

Kid Rock, whom I adore despite my better judgement, starts off with a totally awesome song that I like despite the fact it mocks some of my basic beliefs. ” Amen” indeed. Now we get ” All Summer Long”, which you recall was on my year end songs list, then he launches into ” Rock & Roll Jesus” and a good time was had by all.

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Grammy’s Live Blog Part Two

So far, only one award went out, and it was to my fave Jennifer Hudson. But as usual, CBS trots out their TV stars to shill and announce, and Simon Baker ( The Mentalist) announces Coldplay, who decide to do “Lost”, their current single, instead of ” Viva La Vida” or ” violet Hill”, both up for nominations.  I disliked ” Lost” when I first heard it as it seemed like every other Coldplay ballad. Hey, Jay-Z! Awesome rhymes, Hova, better than the song deserves, dude. I’m also over the damn poor mans Sgt. Peppers look- oh look, now break out ” Viva La Vida”. Smart move, I like this song, though ” Violet Hill” remains my fave of the three singles from this record. They sound much better here than they did on SNL earlier this year. Chris Martin sounds suprisingly good tonight, he rarely does ( remember the AMAs- that was heinous).

I heard his head hit the stage, did you?

Keith Urban again, still awesome eye candy, saying Gene Autry won an achievement award, and then announces Carrie Underwood, who does ” Last Name”  while wearing something that resembles a bedsheet belted with a shoulder belt from a glittery Mercedes matched with crappy beach hair and is she tangerine? Carrie, what happened to you? She also sounds a bit off tonight. A bit exhausted. I wish, however, that all exhausted stars sound as good as she does ( Jessica Simpson, I’m looking at you.)

Brenda Lee is a Lifetime Achievement award winner, and Sheryl Crow and Leann Rimes present the country duo  or group award to Sugarland ( they kinda are the dominating duo right now). Jennifer Nettles thanks Paul McCartney just cause he’s Paul McCartney. Cute. Did Christian forget the names of his kids for a second?

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Grammy Awards Live Blog Part One

U2!

Needing a big kiss, apparently.

I’m not overly impressed with the new single, but the boys always manage to rock the grammys when they show up. And the lyrics popping up on the rainbow colors- fine. It’s a little more off kilter melodically than most U2 songs, moe like the song is a mash up of Achtung Baby! and Zooropa. Oy.

Get Whitney! Whitney, whose performance at the Clive Davis bash  is all the buzz right now, but she still looks and sounds spacey to me. R&B album… goes to… Whitney’s going on about Clive… shut her up… I want the winner…I know he’s a legend..J-Hud!!!! ( I wanted her to win but pegged it to Al Green). J-Hud looks amazing and is very humble in her speech.

The Rock ( I know, Dwayne Johnson) is charming and funny-ish quoting Katy Perry’s hit ” I Kissed A Girl”, then listing the performances we are to expect. Why? Then J.T. ( ” I think I love you”) starts a tribute to Al Green ( one of my favorites as well) that surprisingly lacks humor, then we get Rev. Al and BoyzIIMen and J.T. – ” Let’s Stay Together”, one of the greatest songs in history. The others can go away, I just want the Reverend, damn it. Fuck, that note- the Reverend still has it.

Keith Urban- pretty eye candy moment.

Commercial break, and I can safely say that so far, the Rev. Al is gonna be hard to top. It’s REv. Al, ladies and gentlemen!

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Grammy Awards Live Blog Pre-Show Talk

Yes, I am here, ready to snark about songs and winner and outfits and everything. I am sure that this thing will be riddled with spelling errors and half finished thoughts, and ther will be moments where you might have to wait for me due to bathroom breaks and kids bedtimes. Comments should be open through the night, and I will be checking in on occasion. Just so you know.

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Announcement!

I shall be live blogging the Grammy awards starting Sunday at6 pm Mountain ( 8 pm Eastern, etc, etc…). Look for updates every commercial break.

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