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Posts Tagged ‘jason segel’

”It’s very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
—Sheldon (Jim Parsons), explaining his new game of Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock, on The Big Bang Theory

” I never have any normal fans.”

Dr. Spencer Reid ( Matthew Gray Gubler), lamenting the fact yet another serial killer is a fan of his work, on Criminal Minds

“I hate New York! I’m sorry, but it’s true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It’s huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I’m like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! …I’m too big for New York, okay! I’m always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. “Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?” …And it’s so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it’s the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I’ve been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey’s great! It’s got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I’m not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! ”

– Marshall ( Jason Segel), ranting after spending time at Stella’s New Jersey home, on How I Met Your Mother

” I can see Russia from my house.”

-Sarah Palin ( Tina Fey), giving a press conference with Hillary Clinton ( Amy Poehler), on  SNL

”I am Shiva the destroyer and your harbinger of doom for this evening.”—Kym (Anne Hathaway) in Rachel Getting Married

Penny: Sheldon, it’s me.
Sheldon: You’re in my bedroom.
Penny: I need your help.
Sheldon: People aren’t suppose to be in my bedroom.
Penny: Well, can we talk in the living room?
Sheldon: I’m not wearing any pajama bottoms.
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: I spilled grape juice.
Penny: Well, can’t you put on other pajamas?
Sheldon: I can’t put on other pajamas, these are my Monday  pajamas! Penny, people really aren’t supposed to be in my bedroom!

– Penny ( Kaley Cuoco) and Sheldon ( Jim Parsons), after she enter’s his room in the middle of the night for game playing advise, on The Big Bang Theory

Penny: I know this is none of my business, but I just… I have to ask — what’s Sheldon’s deal?
Leonard: What do you mean, “deal”?
Penny: You know, like, what’s his deal? Is it girls…? Guys…? Sock puppets…?

– Penny ( Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard ( Johnny Galecki), after witnessing a girl fawning over an oblivious Sheldon ( Jim Parsons), on The Big Bang Theory

Penny: Sorry the napkin’s dirty, he wiped his mouth with it.
Sheldon: I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?!
Penny: Well…yeah, I guess. But look, he signed it!
Sheldon: Do you realize what this means?!?! All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy!
Penny: Okay, all I’m giving you is the napkin, Sheldon.

– Sheldon ( Jim Parsons) and Penny ( Kaley Cuoco), after Sheldon opens his Christmas gift, on The Big Bang Theory. This is followed by Sheldon giving her a half dozen gift baskets and the funniest hug in the history of television.

” I kissed a girl and I liked it/ the taste of her cherry chapstick.”

– Katy Perry ” I Kissed A Girl”

 “Denny is my best friend. I love him with all my heart. If I could yank that horrible disease out of his body, I would fight it and I would win. I would use every ounce of my strength and I would win, if I could — but I can’t.” 

– Alan Shore ( James Spader), in front of the Supreme Court, on Boston Legal

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Whatever.

Yes, let us start with an obvious list. Read about them after the jump. (more…)

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Checking my blog traffic today, I notice spikes every time I mention Criminal Minds, Matthew Gray Gubler, and David Cook. So, in order to keep you coming back, here are my gratuitous mentions of Criminal Minds, Matthew Gray Gubler, and David Cook. And for good measure, I’ll throw in Jason Segel, even though you really can’t have him, he’s mine.

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Ah, New York, the sixth character in HIMYM world. You have changed so much the last few years… and it doesn’t help that Marshall cannot remember the restaurant he ate the greatest burger. It doesn’t matter that MacLarens has an awesome burger. It’s not that burger. And Marshall’s sudden obsession with it is pretty weird, even for Marshall. Apparently, when the boys moved in to the apartment, Marshall refused to leave for fear of getting mugged. And when he realized NYC is awesome, he found- the burger. And so the love affair began- and ended. He couldn’t find the place again. And ever since, Marshall has been obsessed. Even a helpful stranger gets Marshall’s wrath ( ” I didn’t think about trying the highest rated burger in the Zagatel guide!”). And somehow, Regis gets involved. The place had a signed Regis picture ( but so does every other burger joint in Manhattan). Regis, too, doesn’t remember where this place is, and it’s driving him nuts as well.  As Marshall reminisces, he gives a clue- green door, red neon sign saying burger. Robin says she knows the place, and they go off in search of the place. And there is also a text to Regis- who leaves his new game show to meet them.

Turns out the burger, though, is not the burger. Which allows for a genius Marshall soliloquy about this burger ( which leads to Lily to complain that Marshall got their wedding vows online). Turns out Marshall is struggling. He’s no longer wearing pants. It was fine, until he actually left the apartment… and met Lily to find the burger at some bistro…

The gang takes off to a new place, only to discover it’s been replaced by an ATM for Goliath National Bank ( now owned by Barney’s labyrinth corporation). Turns out Barney got our unemployed Marshall a job at Goliath. It isn’t Marshall’s dream, but it’s a paycheck.  After another ” helpful” ( for a c-note) stranger tells them the place has, in fact, moved.

So they trudge off to the burger place, and this time, success. It is the burger, and it really is that good ( good enough for Barney to think about getting the burger pregnant).

I love Neil Patrick Harris on HIMYM, but the secret weapon of the show has always been Jason Segel. His Marshall is a big, goofy kid with a law degree but a wide eyed idealistic streak which is a rarity on TV now a days. The burger is more than a burger, it’s the last thread Marshall has to his 22 year old self, and all he wants is to be that kid for a minute. Segel, who specialized in geeks with hearts of gold, delivers a great performance. The episode is not as laugh out loud funny, though, as others, and the Regis bit is a clear gimmick. The B story of Goliath National Bank also falls flat. But a solid, guys.

Grade- B

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Aside from my burning desire to be the mother of Jason Segel’s babies ( more shocking when you realize I have three kids already and should really stop), I have always thought HIMYM was the funniest traditional multicamera on TV ( as opposed to Scrubs and  tHe Office, both single camera masterpieces). Consistently hilarious and surprisingly warm hearted, HIMYM has become the best sitcom on television.

When we last saw our favorite fivesome, Barney had been hit by a bus, Robin didn’t believe in miracles due to a tragic childhood incident that involved her dog turning into a turtle, and Lily and Marshall are Lily and Marshall. Ted, though, proposed to his recently dumped but didn’t know it till Lily told herso she went and dumped Ted girlfriend Stella. We open waiting for the answer.. and she accepts.

I love season premieres on HIMYM because Ted tells us exactly about the summer. HIMYM is told in flashback, but in real time ( kind of- it is Fall 2008 in HIMYM land). He and Stella make out a lot, Robin is getting pissy about her job, Marshall was still coping with unemployment, and Barney is rehabbing from his bus kissing incident while coping with the realization he had fallen in love with Robin.  Lily was apparently Lily all summer.

Ted almost kills Stella on night after feeding her a pesto made with peanuts, which she was allergic to. This just seems to confirm Marshall the busybody’s theory that Stella and Ted don’t need to know each other. So Ted begins a fact finding mission and it turns out that Stella has never- EVER- seen Star Wars. Ted is at first okay with it, then Marshall reminds him how great the movie is, so Ted decides to have a movie night. When Stella doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously, Ted begins a minor freak out that causes him to be banished ( and a spying Marshall follows). Stella tells Ted that she loved it, but Marshall sees through it and calls her on it. ” Can you really pretend to love a movie you hate for the rest of your life?” Stella looks at him and says ” I do.”

The B story deals with Barney trying to convince himself that he isn’t in love with Robin- and failing. He calls in Lily for help, only to make an ass out of himself on Robin’s voice mail, then on the phone when she calls back. Lily takes matter into her own hands and sets up a date,, and when Barney is so un-Barney like, Robin gets a little creeped out herself. But when Barney proves to be a good listener and supportive friend, Robin decides to pay him back by hooking him up with their booblicious waitress.  Barney does take the waitress home, but seems to realize that robin may be out of his reach.

A good start for the season, although I wish they had actually waited to try and get Barney and Robin on a ” date” and let Barney stew in the feelings for an episode ( even if it was actually the stronger of the two stories- i think the Star Wars bit works better if it was central, but it felt a little  forced). Neil Patrick Harris is still smashing as Barney, who is one of the most memorable louses in TV history, Alyson Hannigan shows remarkable comedic gifts as Lily, but I admire Segel’s performance as Marshall the most. He’s so idealistic and naive he should be boring, but there is a wackiness most geeks never get. Colbie Smulders as Robin and Josh Radnor as Ted both have been solid, but Robin was a bit underused ( although the bit about the chiropractor and the dentist were funny), and Ted seemed to be particularly dense this week ( could be love…) The writing was strong, but has been stronger.

Grade- B

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