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Archive for May 12th, 2009

First off, I got to tell the idiot spammers thinking I want to see Audrina Partridge nude- I don’t. Not Patricia Heaton. Or anybody else. And my spam collector catches you. And I will never, ever approve your “comments”.  So quit wasting everyone’s time, please. It’s irritating.

Second off, I’m glad they do two songs this week instead of the previous three. Judges choice and singer’s choice, no producer’s choice to screw with the fact Fringe is supposed to start at 9:04 tonight ( FINALE!!! WHOOT! Gwenny loves that show.) It will also not screw with the fact my Bones dvds arrived today and I have a three season marathon awaiting me ( thanks to my beloved Rose for leading me to B&B!!!). The fact is, all the fun of Idol has now been sapped out of me. I only care enough to hope Adam wins so I don’t have to listen to the phrases ” Danny Gokey” and ” American Idol Winner” in the same sentence.

The judges song choices have been out all weekend. Adam gets U2’s “One”, Kris OneRepublic’s ” Apologize”, and DWP ” Dance Little Sister” by Terrance Trent D’Arby. But recently spoiled were the contestant picks- DWP Joe Cocker’s ” You Are so Beautiful”, Adam ” Cryin'” by Aerosmith, and Kris? ” Heartless” by Kanye West. With the guitar. I read that, of course, on MJ’s Big Blog. I’m a little unsure about Kris at this moment fifteen minutes before the show.

So our Idols (plus DWP) went home to visit this week. DWP went to Milwaukee, the home of Laverne and Shirley.  I ignore everything before Danny let’s out his first flat note ( which was,  of course, his first note).  Why did Paula hand over a soulful TTD song to the whitest bread guy alive? And he was off pitch and off cadence again this week. He was constantly half a beat behind the band.  Ignore the judges.

Kris goes next. Kris returns to Arkansas. and he gets a little OneRepublic to sing. Kris has a big voice? Okay… I love Kris, but I’m not going that far. Kris at the piano this time. He’s at least sounding amazing. A little pitchy. He hit his falsetto, which is important in this song. I liked it a lot. I don’t like the song much to start with, but Kris’ version I’d probably buy.  Kara can drop dead.

Adam went to San Diego and gets the U2 song. Bono approved! Adam automatically updates it with a haunting piano and a slight tweak to the melody with out ignoring the original iconic melody, but… There was a little bit of an enunciation issue when he went up to the diva voice,  he was mostly on key, and he tried to do something different with a legendary song. Okay, so I’m not a big fan of the upper register still, I still think it’s too shrill, and that he used it too often on this song.

I’m sorry, but I think round one actually went to Kris. You know, the guy with the tire tracks all over his body due to the shove the judges gave him.

Then there  is Carrie Underwood and some Idol gives back stuff, with that hip hop version Toto’s iconic “Africa” playing in the background. ( Who can hate Toto’s “Africa”).

So we come back to DWP, and he goes with- Joe Cocker? WTF? It is the ultimate DWPing song. Let’s see him all a glow thanks to lighting and have him sing to the heavens now. I’m taking bets right now that’s how it goes down. Kill me now. He lacks the soul and grit of Cocker. And it’s automatically cheesy Spanish style guitar, off key vocals, terrible. I’m never listening to this song ever again. It’s been ruined by GOKEY. BASTARD!

The judges all deserve purgatory for that bullshit they just shovelled out.

Kris and his bold choice is next. Kris most definitely has a better voice than Kanye, and Kris’ version is… cool. Modern. Relevant. It’s a song released in the last twelve months. It’s a moment. I’m loving it more and more as he goes on. I’m buying this!

The judges decided to pull Kris out from under the bus. Is it a bit too late? I hope not.

Adam decides to embrace rock GAWD again and does some Aerosmith. you know, the band that’s been around for forty years but Kara thinks their first album was released in 1993. “Cryin'” is an alright Toxic Twins jam, but nowhere near “Amazing” or “Crazy” of that same album. Adam starts off strong, a little off tempo in the chorus… and I’m not loving the arrangement, and he’s using the diva voice in odd places. Not liking this either, although  it’s a trillion times better than what Danny did.

I actually believe Kris won the night.

Should be the top two- Kris and Adam.

Will be- Danny and Adam. Rose brought up a good point on Twitter to Panzer. Is there anyway for Kris to convert fans at this point when both DWP and Adam have devout fan bases?

Whatever. I have no joy left in this season.

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