Minutes before Idol began, Slash tweeted that he would be performing an Alice Cooper song. Nice.
So we get an overhead push in with a single spotlight to RyRy in the pit. This… Is.. American…Chopper. ( no, wait, wrong show). Then we get our weekly lame ass Ford Vid, then a group sing in which the best thing was the fact Slash was playing the guitar ( the man is a God). Danny should add never sing Alice Cooper to his list of things to never do ever again. Kris was blasted out of the water by the band- I could hardly hear him.
Danny’s little selfish answer to RyRy- he wants to fall asleep. Fuck you, DWP. Simon tell Kris humble is not needed anymore (bite me , Simon). Adam says he liked his song, the theme, and the outfit. Danny thinks the note is funny, not anger inducing ( ahem). Allison is feisty still.
Oh, Pauler. Pauler… why do I have to put up with this? Apparently, I do, and it’s a cheesy bad as her 80s songs were. But slightly better than her cheesy ass 90s songs. Autotune much? Yeah. Still better than Danny’s last note. Cheesy ass ending, though. I’ve used “cheesy” now four times to describe Paula and her music. Cheesy.
RyRy and Paula talk about… well, nothing in particular. No Doubt takes the stage with a classic. ” Just A Girl”. Gwen looks exactly the same. But she sounds off to me. The guys sound good behind her. Gwenny sounds winded, though. The guys sound great. RyRy talks about No Doubt’s tour. That’s good news. I hope she sounds a bit better, as when she talks, she sounds a bit congested.
64 million votes. Right. Whatever. RyRy reminds them the top three get home visits. We get a tape, where I remember the joy of David Cook from last year and feel a little sad. RyRy calls the top four out. He starts with Allison and Danny.Then he pulls a patented RyRy fake and moves to Adam instead of announcing anything, then Kris. He recaps each performance. RyRy then sends…. Kris!!!!!!!! No fucking way!!!!!!!
Ohmigod… Allison… noooo, please God…. noooo.
Daughtry… awww, he may be a tool, but he still rocks. And let us remind America of the elimination. But it worked out good for him, dinnit? Debuting the new single. I like it. It’s no ” It’s Not Over” or ” Home”, but it’s a nice little rock song. And he gets a five time platinum plaque. Suh-weet!
Back to the job at hand and we get… Adam back to the stools.
Danny vs. Allison. My nightmare. Oh, God… And Danny is…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
That’s it. Idol. You and I are breaking up right after Adam wins this thing.