We get another idiotic opening montage ( does Idol think it’s now a CBS procedural?), and a Ford Commercial that was really heinous, before the Idols launch into a halfway decent group sing. Now, I love me some ” Don’t Stop Believing”, and the opener with Allison and Kris was amazing ( they are clearly my new top two, with Matt pulling third after last night). Yes, the group sings are canned vocals, but at least this week they were decent canned vocals. And Adam’s last note- that’s what I wanted from him singing this song, which is why I wanted him to sing it last night. I am always right, and the sooner the Idols realize that, the better off they’ll all be.
This is followed by a lame ass video thing, and then RyRy divides the Idols into three groups of three. Megan, Matt, and Kris are first, then Allison, Adam, and Lil, then Danny, Scott, and Anoop. God, are they doing this shit again?
Then, what we all have been waiting for since it was taped-
❤ ❤ ❤ DAVID COOK!!!!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
He looked FIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE and sounded fabulous. That is all. Love the song. Mommy Beth was singing along. Then RyRy brought out some leggy blondes to hand SBF his platinum plaque. Le sigh. I miss him every focken week.
After the goodness of DC, RyRy starts the thinning of the herd.
Matt- April Fools, you ain’t bottom three, you is safe!
( Ryan, you’re an asshole.)
Megan caw caw’s her way to the silver stools of doom.
Allison- bottom three ( Everyone all together now- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Collin’s future husband- safe.
Danny- safe ( Everyone all together now- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
Anoop admits he deserves the bottom three slot he now has.
Next, we get a fog machine, a Lucite piano filled with bubbles, and Lady Gaga singing a bizarre version of ” Poker Face”. How’d she get away with the line ” Bluffin’ with my muffin” on the TeeVee?
RyRy begins to send people back to safety with Allison ( huge sigh of relief).
Down to Anoop and Megan and- Megan is heading home. As it should be and was decreed by me.
Simon didn’t even bother to waste time by saying there was no way in hell Megan was going to be saved. Thank God.
Megan does her weird spazz dance thing while singing, eff’s up the words, and that is the end of cool crazy chick.
RyRy announces that next weeks theme is ” The Year They Were Born”. Allison is seventeen. 1992- dudes, 1992 was an awesome year for rock!
Thank God that nightmare is over.