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Archive for March, 2009

31 million votes? Wowza.

Reviewing back, Matt and Anoop were still the best, and Danny sucked. That was heinous and I don’t care what anyone says. Who the hell votes for him ( Dial Idol has him at number one).

They launch into ” Trouble” as the group number and it’s awful the way those group sings are awful ( some awesome piano from Scott, though).

The Ford music video sucks like usual.

Okay, now for the real reason we are here:

Dead wife Pimper- safe

Soul diva- safe

Anoop Doggy Dogg- safe

Rocker chick and Rig Pig-  both in the bottom three ( so which of the Dial Idols is wrong- Megan or Alexis?)

A great little performance from Brad “I’d do him in a second” Paisley  ( well, I would).

Scott, Megan, Kris, Matt- all safe.

Adam and Alexis- Adam is safe, Alexis- damn it.

Ryan then turns around and sends Allison back to safety ( thank God!).

Carrie Underwood comes back again to sing her duet with Randy Travis. It’s lovely.

Simon admits that they would consider saving one of the two remaining ( bet it’s Alexis).

And the one safe is- Michael. Alexis was voted to go home.

Will the judges save her?

She launches into ” Jolene” again, her life depending on it.  Still some pitch issues, her voice cracking with emotion. She’s determined, I admit. Better than last night, full of anguish.

And the judges say- no.

Whoa.

Good news is- TV Guide’s piece yesterday proved wrong.

Next week is Motown ( oooooh… love me some Motown). The show airs Wednesday and Thursday due to the Presidential address.

Till next week, y’all.

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Randy Travis as a mentor? Actually, I think that’s cool- old style country cool. ( I admit to being a sucker for ” Forever and Ever Amen”.) Idol country weeks are generally a mixed bag, where favorites get eviscerated and others surprisingly shine.

This year- no different.

BTW, still hate that opening judges walk thing. Talk about indulgent, Simon.

Michael Sarver sings Garth the Great’s ” Ain’t Going Down Till The Sun Comes Up”, an ambitious choice, since it’s quick paced vocal lines can bring down some of the greatest singers. In fact, the only version of this song I like is the original. That has not changed one iota. It was competent, pitchy, and he fell behind the melody more than once.

It looks like the only judge that would be hired back this week will be Simon, but not yet. I think he was being unfair to the song itself.

My personal fave Allison came out and sang Patti Griffin’s legendary ” Blame It On Your Heart”.  She got breathy ( it’s another quick song with machine gun lyrics), she dropped a few notes in the process, but overall, for sixteen, mucho impressed.  Simon, though, called her ” precocious”, so he can bite me.

Kris Allen singing Garth’s ” To Make You Feel My Love” was dreary and bland, so I have no idea what the judges are talking about.

Lil Rounds tackled Martina McBride’s soaring ” Independence Day”, but she should have gone with Martina’s  gospel infused ” A Broken Wing”. The songs are similar in theme and style, but the chorus of the latter struck me as a better fit. But she didn’t read my mind, and ended up disappointing. She didn’t hit the notes I wanted her to hit, and the verse was pretty pitchy.

Adam has talent, but he’s making choices that makes it really hard for me to like him. Johnny Cash is up there with Dylan as an artist you don’t touch in my books ( unless you are Joaquin Phoenix pre-breakdown/Kaufman impersonation). I admit though ( all Adam fans, I know)- the first part of the song was well sung and I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I would when I heard the word ” sitar-like”. Then he started to go all wild over the back end and he lost me again. This song doesn’t need the theatrics. He really needs to learn to edit and reign it in.

Scott went with another Martina song, ” Wild Angels” and I have to say, it was better than last weeks.  Pretty good. He is, however, a much better pianist than singer, and he’d make a great session guy.

Alexis tackled “Jolene”, and I really like it, despite her pitch problems.  Certainly better than Brooke’s last year ( and I liked Brooke’s version).  She sounded a bit breathless on that series of high notes. But overall, solid.

Danny- oh, Danny. This confirms my belief that all the judges are smoking some strong shit. That was TERRIBLE. He started too low, was completely off pitch, off tempo, he strayed from a great melody for indulgent craziness. Awful awful AWFUL.

Anoop…oh, Anoop… ” You’re Always On My Mind”- not on the sacred list ( I love three versions- Elvis’, Willie’s, and my personal fave, The Pet Shop Boys), but it’s one of those amazing, legendary songs that shouldn’t be messed with unless you are Chris Lowe and Neil Tennant.  He does it as the sweet ballad Willie Nelson intended, and he sang it on pitch, with a modicum of soul, sweetly, mournfully, lovely. I also really like the haircut. Anoop is back, indeedy do. Needs to take the cockiness down a bit still, though.

Megan, whom I adore for reasons beyond my comprehension ( I know what’s wrong, but somehow, I really don’t care, she makes me smile. She makes ME, a raging misanthrope, SMILE).  ” Walking After Midnight” is an overdone song, so I worry a bit.  She looks gorgeous, though. And the slightly jazzy tinge she gives the vocal suits her and the song surprisingly. She’s never gonna be one of those singers that his every note in the song, but she is a fantastic interpreter.  No weird dance this week. Those high notes are really squeaky. I’m impressed. And with the judges telling us about the hospitalization and every thing, I’m even more impressed. She saved the hacking for after her song. That might even explain some of that squeakiness.

Matt is up last this week, and his song is Carrie’s ” So Small”. I’m beginning to think Carrie is gonna be an untouchable.  I get that uneasy feeling every time I hear her name on this show in conjunction with the contestants song choices. He reconfigures it to be a soulful pop ballad, which suits him, but there are vocal issues. Another great pianist, though, another guy qualified for being a session dude if necessary. I’m actually enjoying this more than I thought, though. Simon’s Michael Buble comparison was spot on.

As for the judges being rehired? Well, they were better this week. But there was still some wackiness. They are currently on probation.

A much better week than last week ( almost anything would be better than last week).

My bottom three- Michael Sarver, Danny Gokey, and sadly, Lil Rounds. I think that Adam and Scott could be in trouble as well. ( I apologies to the Adam fans, but the rest were stronger, I’m sorry. I don’t think he’ll hit bottom three, but he’ll be on the lower end of the scale). Megan could also be down there, as she’s become quite polarizing.

And now, till tomorrow’s results show, everyone, I bid you adieu.

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It seems that there is a plan for a musical version of the 1989 noir comedy classic Heathers– the one where you love your gay dead son and you get fucked gently with a chainsaw, and look out for Draino in coffee mugs?

I’m dubious about this. Heathersis one of my all time favorite movies. But it’s also a movie of it’s time, which is to say, pre-Columbine and every other devastating school shooting of the last decade. Would the threat of blowing up a school be frowned upon in the post-9/11 world? And who the hell would they cast to play JD? Christian Slater IS JD. And he’s way too old for the part now.

I’m gonna take a wait and see approach.

PS: EW.com is reporting that Veronica Mars herself has read for the role of… well, Veronica in Heathers: The Musical.  Kristen Bell? Awesomeness!!! Like that bit of casting, I really do.

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I normally look upon stunt casting with a wary eye. When done right ( Paul Rudd’s sweet Mike on the final two seasons of Friends, Leslie Jordan’s wickedly fey Beverley on Will and Grace), it’s magical. When done just because ( Britney on anything), it’s cloy and distracting. It’s best if the stunt casting makes sense. It’s better when the guest star gets smashing lines. TBBT had been doing the stunt casting thing well. Till this week.

Summer Glau, star of The Sarah Connor Chronicles on Fox ( but produced by WB- hence the crossover), is actually quite dynamic on her show ( she’s honestly the best thing about it). But she was wasted on this episode with mostly monosyllabic answers to the constant attention of Howard and Raj. When the guest star gets no real funny lines on a sitcom guest spot, you have to wonder.

Fortunately, the Penny-Sheldon dynamic was fabulous despite the fact they were barely on screen together. Kaley Cuoco is truly turning into a charming and funny lead as the show goes on, because even without the guys to play off of, she was great, nonchalantly painting her nails as Jim Parson’s Sheldon gives wackadoodle directions to get his flash drive out of his locked desk drawer. ( The show is getting better with it’s callbacks recently, with mentioning of Howard’s new “relationship” with Leslie Winkle and the come back of “wackadoodle”). Jim Parsons, gifted physical comedian, spent nearly the entire episode sitting down, but still managed to be utterly delightful every second he was on screen. Johnny Galecki’s Leonard was also great this week, as he is having a ” I hate Sheldon” week and needles him more than usual ( but still plays peacemaker between Sheldon and a nosy Penny).

Things we learn this week:

  • Given enough time, Howard can actually come up with a clever pick up line.
  • Given the opportunity, Raj will steal that pick up line.
  • Penny has a job playing Anne Frank in a small 99 seat theater above a bowling alley. Hey, it’s an acting job, folks.
  • Sheldon keeps his flash drive locked in his desk, but the key for the desk in in his room, and nobody is allowed in his room.
  • Sheldon is way obsessed about trains.
  • Raj is susceptible to the placebo effect, and apparently cannot read labels on beer bottles.
  • Howard, though in a relationship, has a flawless reason to try and sleep with Summer Glau- ” It’s Summer Glau!”
  • The guys go to the Apple Store and mock the people at the Genius Bar.
  • Sheldon has a new packing system involving RDF tags, a scanner wand, and a complex cross referencing system.
  • Sheldon takes all the fun out of sarcasm, according to Leonard.
  • Sheldon’s vote outweighs the other three.
  • Sheldon is wary of voiding warranties, but is more obsessed with keeping season 1 of BSG on TiVo. Leading me to ask- don’t they have the DVDs?
  • Sheldon’s MeeMaw calls him ” Moonpie” because he is so ” nummy, nummy”. And only MeeMaw can call him that. For the first time, Sheldon shows a streak of sentimentality.
  • Leonard is reading Noble Laureate George Smoot’s ” Wrinkles in Time”.
  • Are you meaning to tell me Penny doesn’t know a USB port from a power button?

Overall, there were funny moments, but the use of Summer Glau was limited, and the real story got lost to the B story, simply because Jim and Kaley shine as the adversarial friends.

Penny line of the week: ” What up, Moonpie?”

Sheldon line of the week:’ It’s like talking to a chimp.”

Howard line of the week: ” One beer and it’s like he’s M. Knight Charmalamalan.”

Raj line of the week: ” You got me. Now, what are you gonna do with me?”

Leonard line of the week : ” Looks like you’re between a rock and a crazy place.”

Grade- B

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Dial Idol has a close race between Allison (NO!!!!!), Jasmine, and Jorge heading off into the sunset.

The new rule- Judges save. It’s not as horrible as the idea floating out there that the judges were adapting the SYTYCD judging model ( America votes the bottoms, judges eliminate after a dance off). But I know that Idol fans, for all their complaints of  Jennifer Hudson-Chris Daughtry- Michael Johns unfairness, prefer to have the vote without judges interference. I know I do- and  I love love LOVE the three singers mentioned above.

So the group car wreck- er- number- let’s just skip that. I’m too tired to even comprehend it right now.

Is it me, or is RyRy looking particularly stupid tonight. I am tired. Daylight Savings and all.

Do the producers put these callback moments through Autotune or something. They always sound better in these callbacks. Except Jasmine.

And why would I bother to watch anymore if Adam and Danny are really the chosen ones? I want Alexis and Allison or Lil if necessary.

The Ford Music Video- not that sucky.

Rig Pig- safe.

Allison- safe. ( I love it when DI gets it wrong…)

Jasmine- down to the stage.

JT Wannabe- safe

Married Hottie and Megan Joy- Married stays, Megan to the floor.

Jasmine and Megan… and Megan is safe! Whooo! So relieved. She’s at least interesting. Jasmine is not interesting at all. They are making her sing as the judges deliberate. Why, God? I hate the sing out.

I want my Kanye and Kelly. Where are they?

Randy tells Jasmine sorry, not good enough. She cries. RyRy comforts her. We get the package and whatever sets in for me.

Kanye comes out and does “Heartless”, which is one of the best songs off of 808s and Heartbreaks. He has never been a great singer, but this song uses his limited vocal range and mixes his more light, sing-songy rap style to excellent effect.

Did they shrink the swaybots this year? I hardly have noticed them.

Those crazy ass screaming teens are too young for you, Kanye ( I know exactly how old he is, we were born a mere month apart).

That, ladies and gentlemen, is how one performs on the Idol stage. Awesome Kanye.

Scottay- safe. No surprise.

Alexis- safe. Thank the soul of Jimi.

Mopey- safe. Geez. And you know something? Sky is blue.

Anoop Doggy Dogg- to the stage.

Madame- safe. Sun is yellow.

Jorge… Lil… come on, we know it Jorge. And there he goes to the stage. Lil is safe. No kidding.

And they are going to make us wait. Poor guys. I hate RyRy for doing that to you. But Kelly’s gonna sing. We love Kelly. The Original Idol.

( I am clearly a Kelly girl from way back when, and I honestly think that the slam her last album got was unfair- it’s a mature, beautiful piece of melancholia).

This Idol re-visitation is gonna be weekly. Cool. Kelly looks fabulous, and is sweet and charming. She launches into ” My Life Would Suck Without You”, which is awesome if a little to reminiscent of ” Since U Been Gone”. I adore her still.

And so, we come down to Anoop and Jorge. And Anoop is safe… poor Jorge is gonna sing as the judges chat.

My friend, the awesome Melissa in Baltimore, had been hearing that only one person would end up getting eliminated due to the phone mishap ( Idol-13 is a porn number… whoops).  But Simon puts that to rest with a sharp “No.”

That is Carrie singing ” Home Sweet Home”, a awesome cover of the Mötley Crüe road song classic. And we say goodbye to two.

Next week- more hell. This season is disappointing in so many ways.

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I will be honest- I started this week with my note book and pen, wondering why they had a Michael Jackson week, when the judges keep saying MJ is one of the untouchable ones. Stupid Idol.

Then the singing began- and not one of them were really any good. ( Adam fans, please don’t hurt me, but that was all kinds of off pitch and shouty, particularly the breakdown on the bridge.)

Even worse than the singing was the judging.

So this is my declaration- I have fired all four judges. Those who remember the season seven write ups, I fired both Randy and Paula last year for the ridiculous critiques they were giving. This year- all of them. Yes, even Simon. They aren’t even trying to hide the pimping. It’s awful.

I am not going to write up a recap this week because I am insulted as a fan. They don’t deserve anything from me after that show.

PS- Allison and Alexis were the two saving graces, but even there I was disappointed. And when do the stylists work their magic?

Epic fail, Idol.

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To future husband number four Matthew Gray Gubler, who is a gorgeous, sexy 29 today. I still want to feed him colcannon and Guinness. Or something else.
Catch Matthew’s wonderfully complex role as Dr. Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds, Wednesdays on CBS/CTV. Also, he is in the upcoming films (500) Days of Summer and The Great Buck Howard.

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