First, before I launch into my weekly love fest of the CM world, let me just say that the most devastating news this week is Johnny Marr denying a Smiths reunion. Damn it! I want to see Moz and Marr live, together, singing ” There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”, which my friends will note is my choice of the greatest love song in history. True love is saying that if a ten ton truck kills the both of us, to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine. Bonus will be seeing ” How Soon Is Now” live.
Back to what I really do here.
( Okay, I am digressing, again, but I’m also quite devastated by the fact that Zeppelin is threatening to tour without Robert Plant. I want my Zeppelin, and Plant has to be part of the deal. I’m sorry, but no one, NO ONE, should be able to sing ” Rock and Roll” and ” stairway To Heaven” except Robert Plant.)
” Paradise” is quite typical of the CM world. We start on a lonely highway on a rainy night, with some AC/DC playing, and a trucker doing whatever the hell truckers do on lonely, rainy highways. Distracted, and on a blind curve, he smashes into a vehicle that was stranded on the highway. The people inside are dead. But something strikes our sheriff as odd. No blood inside the vehicle… that is not right. Turns out our couple were dead before the crash, and were tortured and the woman raped.
In a shocker moment, Reid is attempting to get the team to join him for dinner at an all night Indian restaurant. JJ informs them they ain’t goin’ nowhere, and presents the case. Turns out Garcia turned up two more cases in Nevada. ( Is it Ne-VAH-da or Ne-VA-da??? I’ve always said Ne-VAH-da. Sidetracked… damn it!). Momentary hope surge that it’s the beginning of the upcoming Reid arc ( Reid is a Las Vegas native, after all), but realizing that this episode actually focuses on our victims.
And our victims are surprising. William Mapother is a great actor who gained notice in the 2001 film In The Bedroom, playing Marisa Tomei’s abusive asshole husband who kills Nick Stahl’s character and gets away with murder, setting in motion the events that followed ( great film- go watch it). He also played some villains on TV. I remember him on CSI as a man who killed an HIV positive woman and contracted the disease as the blood spattered in his eyes… I think it was probably unlikely, but plausible. He rarely plays good guys ( he’s handsome in a beaten up boxer kinda way, but quite menacing). Here he’s our husband, a man who is struggling to connect with his wife ( Robin Lively- Neil Patrick Harris link- she played a nurse on five episodes of Doogie Howser!). They are returning home late at night and nearly crash into a truck as he is desperately trying not to go to sleep. They check into a small rustic motel. And then the fun begins.
The team hit the sheriffs office and start plotting- geographical profiling, trying to keep a lid on the real reason for the deaths, and trying to track the dead couples trails before their deaths. Turns out the latest victims were at a diner in Sherwood, NV. That gives them a starting point.
Our couple wake up after a night of married passion, and we discover that a) her underwear is missing; b) there is no cell phone service; c) neither one of them ordered breakfast, but what they wanted somehow showed up. The husband decides it’s time to leave.
Our couple, Abby and Ian Corbin, are now officially missing, and the team now believe they might be the current victims. They give our profile- a malignant misogynist, an anger excitation rapist, a sadist with mommy issues. He has perfected his skill, he is isolated, and most likely works in a remote motel. Seeing as it’s western Nevada, there are a zillion of them. Good luck and go off on a door knocking journey.
Our couple is currently locked in the suite, Ian nearly gets his eye removed by a knife after peeking out the security peep hole, and the fighting has begun. Anger, frustration, blame- he had a hangover that made them leave later, she’s a bit uptight, nit picking at each other. He keeps fighting for a way out. She’s second guessing his strategy. Not a happy couple. Our unsub keeps observing constantly. Until the bell rings. Our heroes ( Hotch in particular) are here to see if our gentleman at the desk knows anything. The unsub is Wesley Crusher- er, Wil Wheaton ( truly creepy by the way). He manages to seem normal enough to convince Hotch that he has no clue who the couple in the photos are, and our fearless leader leaves to hit the next spot. Even the best can be fooled at times.
The team keeps searching for other crimes that may fit. Garcia looked at open cases found nothing, looked a pandas, went back at closed cases and found something. A convicted rapist suddenly changed MO, and the team links it to our current unsub.
Our couple is now joined by our unsub, who knocks Ian unconscious, and menaces Abby. Back at the office, the team discovers that the man that Hotch had talked to was in fact Floyd Hansen, convicted of attempted rape, had some undies on him, prison, manages to pin his first murder on another guy, inherits the motel, and is able to continue his sick fantasies.
Ian, tied to a chair, tries to get the bolted chair loose. Abby, tied to the bed, has given up. Floyd keeps beating and torturing our couple, mocking Ian’s manliness, Abby’s poor choice in husband, the very nature of marriage, while building up his own masculinity. Meanwhile our team shows up, and begin searching for our couple, and Reid and Rossi search the offices. He’s fits the profile perfectly- down to following the case. The team manages to rescue the couple, but Floyd escapes out the back. Hotch and Morgan give chase, but in a nice bit of poetic justice, Floyd gets smashed by a mack truck. End of unsub. End of episode.
Weekly Reid funny- Prentiss notes that roadside motels are now on her never list. Reid: ” You have a list?” Rossi: ” You don’t?” Reid kinda shrugs.
Overall, a truly creepy episode from the gruesome twosome, Debra Fisher and Erica Messer. Dark and foreboding. Less team dynamics than I like, a lot of focus on the couple. Wes- I mean, Wil Wheaton was a fascinating choice to play the unsub, and I think it worked out well for both We- Wil and the CM team. He was memorable. I’m still looking forward to ” The Insticnts” and ” Memoriam”, which are to be two ( TWO!!!) Reid centric episodes and Willaim Reid is supposed to make an appearance ( also showing up- the luminously deranged Diana Reid, as played by Jane Lynch. God, I love her.) Back to Nevada we go folks. I love Reid episodes ( logical- I love Reid). This episode is probably my least favorite this season, though.