If I could only save fifty of these albums from the past ten years, what fifty would it be?

It would be easy for me to write-up a list in which only Green Day, and White Stripes albums are on it, simply because they produced amazing albums this decade. I could have simply gone with my kids suggestion and made the list all about Hannah Montana and the Wiggles. That was tempting, they could have written it for me.

My criteria was simple. First- I must have actually listened to it. I still have a couple of albums in the plastic. Most of these albums were gifts from well-meaning people who thought that I really needed Daniel Bedingfield’s album.

Second-  How often did I listen to this album? Having the most listens didn’t mean that it would be number one.  Music is very much my day between the hours of six a.m. and six p.m. There are albums on this list I only listened to once and found so compelling that I felt it needed to be on the list. Most I have listened to so often my CD player refuses to open to play them again and my iTunes has decided that they are the only artists I listen to.

Lastly- I must have had fun listening to it at some point. Dreary music is of no interest to me. That doesn’t mean sad music is ignored for the oeuvre of Britney Spears. On the contrary, I find Britney Spears to be enormously depressing. But her greatest hits album makes for a delightful coaster.

The list, in full, after the break.

50. Joyful Rebellion, k-os (2004)

Canadian hip hop hippie rebel tears the music industry a new one with melodic cynicism and spacey joy.

Download: ” Man I Used To Be”, ” B-Boy Stance”, “Crabbuckit”

49. The Greatest, Cat Power (2006)
Indie darling writes own songs, suddenly becomes big star who has her music used in commercials.
Download: “The Greatest”, ” Love and Communication”, ” Willie”

48. Accelerate, R.E.M. (2008)
After a decade of being not as good as they once were, Athens greatest band returns to the guitars and musings of old and prove they are still relevant.
Download: ” I’m Gonna D.J.”, ” Until The Day Is Done”, ” Living Well Is The Best Revenge”

47. Dangerously In Love, Beyonce (2003)
The diva of the new century goes solo and hooks Jay-Z. Thankfully, she has really awesome songs to go along with the voice.
Download: ” Crazy In Love”, ” Naughty Girl”, ” Dangerously in Love 2″

46. Back To Black, Amy Winehouse (2006)
Troubled junkie has throwback sixties soul voice, teams up with super music genius Mark Ronson for some of the best songs of the decade.
Download: ” Back To Black”, ” Rehab”, ” You Know I’m No Good”

45. The Chemistry of Common Life, Fucked Up (2008)
Canadian hardcore band with the unprintable name create loud chaos with artistic ambition, win prestigious music prize, get Canadian newspapers to print their name. Seriously.
Download: “Black Albino Bones”, “Twice Born”, ” Days of Last”

44. Figure 8, Elliott Smith (2000)
Sad singer songwriter of note creates masterpiece of simple beauty. One of the saddest losses in music.
Download: “Pretty Mary K”, “Somebody That I Used To Know”, “L.A.”

43. The Rising, Bruce Springsteen (2002)
The Boss gets all classic Springsteen after 9-11, evokes resurrection to make a compelling study of human nature in the wake of tragedy. It’s no accident he went on to record an album of Pete Seeger songs a few years later.
Download: ” The Rising”, ” My City of Ruins”, “Mary’s Place”

42. Chemical City, Sam Roberts (2006)
Canadian wunderkind returns a little wiser and a little more mature, still kicks ass.
Download: ” The Bridge To Nowhere”, “An American Draft Dodger in Thunder Bay”, ” The Resistance”

41. In Your Honor, Foo Fighters (2005)
Dave Grohl is the hardest working man in music. This collection of blistering rockers and gentler acoustic songs shows the conflict of the era and within the man who wrote the songs.
Download: ” Best of You”, ” Friend of a Friend”, “Resolve”, ” Miracle”

40. You Forgot It In People, Broken Social Scene (2002)

A massive Canadian musical collective writes experimental masterpiece and suddenly becomes everyone’s favorite band. Buoys the success of individual members like Emily Haines, Feist, and Kevin Drew.

Download: “Cause=Time”, ” Anthem for a Seventeen Year Old Girl”, “Stars And Sons”
39. A Ghost Is Born, Wilco (2004)

The band survives a label change, creates album that documents Jeff Tweedy’s insanity, plus a fifteen minute opus involving a synthesizer, which just kind of proves Tweedy’s calculating ways. He called “Less Than You Think” the song even die-hard Wilco fans would hate. It’s actually one of my favorite Wilco songs because it’s so crazy.

Download: “I’m a Wheel”, “At Least That’s What You Said”, “Less Than You Think”

38. A Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay (2002)

They fail at being the new U2, but they succeed at being themselves. An album of piano based mid tempo hymns and poignant ballads, it remains their best album. Contemplative and haunting.

Download: “Politick”, “The Scientist”, “God Put A Smile Upon Your Face”, “Amsterdam”

37. Illinois, Sufjan Stevens (2005)

Part of an insane, possible practical joke of an idea Stevens had to write an album for all fifty states, Illinois is one of the best concept albums ever recorded. Stevens sings both joyous accounts of the history and the people of the state, but also throws in a song called ” John Wayne Gacy, Jr.” Humorous, informative, and delightful.

Download: “Come On! Feel the Illinoise!”, “Jacksonville”, “Casimir Pulaski Day”, “They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Our Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From The Dead!! Ahhh!!”

36. Fantasies, Metric (2009)

Emily Haines’ thin sunshine ray of a voice is matched with eighties inspired keyboard riffs and lyrics about Beatles songs and De Lillo novels. More cohesive than their previous works.

Download: ” Gimme Sympathy”, “Front Row”, “Help I”m Alive”

35. The College Dropout, Kanye West (2004)

No one has shaken up the world of hip hop quite like Kanye West. Hyper literate, unafraid of his own preppy image, he wrote songs critical of the current state of the genre and used samples from songs no one else would ever think of. The opposite of gangsta rap is the smart boy swagger brought to us by the son of a college professor.

Download: “Jesus Walks”, ” All Falls Down”, “Through the Wire”, “Last Call”

34. Hot Fuss, the Killers (2004)

Dynamic Las Vegas band immersed in eighties pop write bright songs about girls and becomes the biggest band on the planet for six months. They have had better individual songs on their follow-up albums, but those albums are messes thematically.

Download: “Somebody Told Me”, “Smile Like You Mean It”, “Mr. Brightside”, “All These Things That I’ve Done”

33. Warning:, Green Day (2000)

Underrated adult album from the notorious juvenile punks. The beginnings of their later sound and themes are found here, on a less epic scale.

Download: ” Minority”, “Warning”, “Macy’s Day Parade”

32. Scissor Sisters, Scissor Sisters (2004)

Disco never really died, because every once in a while, an artist comes along that reminds us disco was fun. In this decade, it was a band from New York who made it huge in England with their delightful ditties about the Wizard of Oz and out of nowhere covers of Pink Floyd songs. Easily the most fun I have ever had listening to a record.

Download: “Comfortably Numb”, ” Take Your Mama”, “Filthy/Gorgeous”

31. Furr, Blitzen Trapper

Folky Portland band with a unique world view, they made an impact with their fourth album. Another great band in the history of the Sub Pop label, they write songs evoking the naturalism of the Oregon wilderness. They even sing about transmogrification. Certainly one of the great discoveries of the decade.

Download: “Furr”, “God and Suicide”, “Black River Killer”

30. Strict Joy, The Swell Season (2009)

If I hadn’t long ago decided that soundtracks were not permitted on my lists, the soundtrack for Once would be on this list. It would have made my top ten. Fortunately for me, and for everyone else as well, the Swell Season put out this album a little while ago and saved me the grief. Equally as beautiful, and as poignant as the songs off of Once, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova document their personal relationship with reason and even emotion.

Download: “In These Arms”, “I Have Loved You Wrong”, “Low Rising”

29. Action Pact, Sloan (2003)

It baffles me that Sloan isn’t the biggest band in the world. Those gorgeous harmonies and sunny sixties pop inspired melodies seem tailor- made for world domination. It makes me that much happier that I live in Canada, where I can always hear them on the radio and see them on that five-minute block MuchMoreMusic has in the morning for videos. This album sees the band maturing and searching for their futures. It is both bouncy fun and contemplative narrative.

Download: “The Rest of My Life”, “Nothing Lasts Forever Anymore“, “I Was Wrong”

28. Everything All The Time, Band of Horses (2006)

One of the great debuts of the decade were this South Carolina based group with rich guitar sounds and a lead singer that yelps and wails like nobody’s business.  The songs on this album are hauntingly beautiful.

Download: “The Funeral”, “The Great Salt Lake”, “Monsters”

27. Songs For The Deaf, Queens Of The Stone Age (2002)

Any group that can bring in Dave Grohl to bang on the drums that ferociously deserves a spot on this list. I’m also glad that this, my drinking album, has a genuine party feel and rocks hard in a decade where great hard rock was sadly lacking. Let’s not even begin on the state of metal in the 2000s…

Download: ” Go With the Flow”, ” No One Knows”, “A Song for the Dead”

26. Fever To Tell, Yeah Yeah Yeahs (2003)

Avant garde melodic punk with dance floor ambition, Yeah Yeah Yeahs are one of my favorite bands on the decade. Their debut album remains a highlight of the dance punk scene that seemed to struggle throughout the decade. Dark, bare bones, and Karen O’s voice is so uniquely perfect over the steady percussion and ringing guitars.

Download: “Maps”, “Y Control”, “Date With The Night”

25. St. Elsewhere, Gnarls Barkley (2006)

I think Danger Mouse’s impact on music over the decade has been under appreciated. His 2004 Beatles-Jay Z mash-up The Grey Album was a massive digital success story, and he helped produced the best album Beck did in this decade. But it was this album, with old friend and Goodie Mob member Cee-Lo, that remains a stand out. Taking the best traditions of hip hop, soul, and rock, they mixed it with genuine paranoia and fear to create a masterpiece of the dark side. All that, plus a warped cover of a Violent Femmes song.

Download: “Crazy”, “Gone, Daddy, Gone”, “Smiley Faces”

24. Bleed American, Jimmy Eat World (2001)

Why do people bash on Jimmy Eat World? I know they aren’t the most ground breaking band, but they produce albums of great pop-rock songs, and I find them less offensive than matchbox twenty. This, their break through, is a strong album about coming to terms with the adult world without leaving what makes you young and fun behind. It’s also more ambitious than what one would expect from what was at the point a  label free rock band with no prospects.

Download: “The Middle”, “A Praise Chorus”, “Sweetness”

23. When I Was Cruel, Elvis Costello (2002)

I am a die-hard, slightly obsessive Elvis Costello fan, so one should not be surprised that he’s on this list. I would put an album of Elvis coughing on my list. I’m glad that instead I have an album that returns to Elvis’ angry young man style and in the midst of the bitterness and general annoyance with the world, there are grand arrangements and great guitars. How can one go wrong when Elvis Costello remembers he’s a rocker?

Download: “45″, “Spooky Girlfriend”, “When I Was Cruel 2″, “Radio Silence”

22. Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes (2008)

One must realize I bought this album on the strength of hearing ” White Winter Hymnal” and finding the imagery of cold and snow and the red scarves kind of homey. Maybe it’s the fact I live where snow and cold is the norm for six months of the year. But the overall album is a gem, a mix of folk melodies and sixties vocal harmonies. Proof positive that the sound of the northwest in the 2000s was very different from the sound that came from there in the 1990s.

Download: “White Winter Hymnal”, ” He Doesn’t Know Why”, “Meadowlarks”

21. The Blueprint, Jay-Z (2001)

The lyrical master of hip hop was in trouble legally and with the hip hop community in 2001. His peers were dissing him left and right and there was that gun charge hanging over his head. But this isn’t Nas, ladies and gentlemen, this is Shawn Carter, and he ain’t a bitch. What he did was create a hip hop masterpiece with the help of a young Chicago based producer named Kanye West.  An astonishing and real work.

Download: “Izzo (H.O.V.A.)”, “Takeover”, “Renegade”

20. For Emma, Forever Ago, Bon Iver (2008)

Every once in a while, I buy an album by an artist on whim and discover something great. I bought this because I have a daughter named Emma and I collect albums that use the names of my children. That album count is one. This is a low fi collection of acoustic love songs written by a heartbroken man in a wintery Wisconsin cabin.  I just lucked out that the album was amazingly beautiful and sad. Emma is never going to steal this away.

Download: ” Skinny Love”, “For Emma”, “Creature Fear”, “Blindsided”

19. Let It Die, Feist (2004)

This is the real classic of Leslie Feist’s career. Don’t let the fact ” 1234″ isn’t on it scare you or anger you. A mix of sunny sounding jazzy-folk originals and diverse covers from the likes of the Bee Gees and Ron Sexsmith, it’s the album that brought her to an international audience who needed to be reminded that Canadian female singers don’t always have amazing soprano voices that reach thirty different octaves and sing schlock. They sometimes write their own simple songs and sing in their own wistful ways.

Download: “Mushaboom”, ” Inside and Out”, “One Evening”, “Gatekeeper”

18. American Idiot, Green Day (2004)

You can’t look at this as being a pop-punk album- its meat and potatoes rock with varying influences. Mostly, Green Day shakes off the Clash and Stiff Little Fingers cobwebs and infuse their politics with the Who and Zeppelin. What you end up with may not be perfect, but damn if it doesn’t make me want to change the world every single time I hear it? This took them from a dying, middling 90s band to international superstars that aspire to be the atheistic version of U2.

Download: “Jesus of Suburbia”, ” Boulevard of Broken Dreams”, ” Wake Me Up When September Ends”, “American Idiot”

17. Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, Spoon (2007)

I had honestly let Spoon slip under my radar for years due to some unknown reason that I can’t come up with ( I think it has to do with young children and their music leaving me little time to get into what was happening in Texas at the time musically -or maybe I kept getting Spoon mixed up in my head with 90s Detroit grunge rejects Sponge). But when I came across “Don’t Make Me a Target”, I went crazy on iTunes. A solid indie rock band delivers and album full of interesting rhythms and obscure lyrics.

Download: ” Don’t Make Me a Target”, “Don’t You Evah”, “You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb”, ” The Underdog”

16. Only By The Night, Kings Of Leon (2008)

The Followill boys made a huge impact in England early on in their careers, but this, their fourth album, was the one that hit commercially. They still are bigger over there than here, although we all finally got it. ( I must admit, I was a fan of 2007′s Because of the Times, but found their first two albums lacking in focus). If you are looking for a grimy southern sound full of sex and promise, this is the album you should own.

Download: ” Use Somebody”, “Sex On Fire”, “Notion”, “Crawl”

15. Mass Romantic, The New Pornographers (2000)

The New Pornographers was one of those bands I ended up having to listen to backwards, as I fully didn’t appreciate them until I heard Twin Cinema and I somehow completely forgot about their existence for a few years. But of all their albums, the one that remains the most fun is their first, a symphonic blend of lyrical melodrama and indie guitars.

Download: ” Letter From An Occupant”, ” Breakin’ the Law”, “Mass Romantic”, “The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism”

14. Rabbit Fur Coat, Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins (2006)

Jenny Lewis for the longest time was that red-headed girl who kissed Fred Savage in that really awful video game movie. Thankfully, she grew up and started Rilo Kiley and all is pretty much forgiven. Her solo debut is a masterpiece of alt country- indie rock fusion with Lewis’s amazing and subtle voice reigning supreme.

Download: ” Handle With Care”, “Born Secular”, “Rise Up With Fists”, “You Are What You Love”

13. Set Yourself on Fire, Stars (2004)

Haunting pianos, harps, violins, brass bands- this doesn’t scream simplistic beauty or an efficiency of style and sound, but that’s what you get. Nothing on this album is extraneous. It’s orchestral on a shoestring and thrilling in its mandate. An amazing record that everyone should own.

Download: ” Your Ex-Lover Is Dead”, “Ageless Beauty”, “Reunion”, “What I’m Trying to Say”

12. “Love And Theft”, Bob Dylan (2001)

I recently listened to Dylan’s new Christmas album, where profits go to charity, and decided that one of Dylan’s best albums opened the decade, and he was closing out with one of his worst. This, the best he had released in decades, is steeped in the American South, where the American musical styles are all born and nurtured before being corrupted. An amazing piece of work from an artist that just cannot escape the expectations of his fans.

Download: “Mississippi”, “Sugar Baby”, “High Water (for Charley Patton)”, “Honest With Me”

11. Smile, Brian Wilson (2004)

I am a die-hard Beach Boys fan who laments the loss of the brilliance of Brian Wilson for that long dark period of American music where no one could craft a perfect pop song because he was high and crazy. That’s when we get things like “Kokomo”, people. Glad to have Wilson’s ideas that were rejected in the sixties used to such amazing ends.

Download: “Good Vibrations”, “Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow”, “Heroes and Villains”, “Wonderful”

10. Stankonia, Outkast (2000)

The famed hip hop duo, one straight up old style gangsta, the other from some other galaxy, produced a nearly perfect album of wildly diverse themes and styles. This album took them from the underground and firmly entrenched them as the kings of hip hop for the decade. Whether you like loud and rocking drum and bass, traditional samples with traded verses, or deep funk, this album has it all for you.

Download: ” Ms. Jackson”, “B.O.B.”, “So Fresh, So Clean”, “Humble Mumble”

9. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, Phoenix (2009)

The new apex of French pop. Delightful, bright, and so damn catchy that it’s easy to become obsessed with individual tracks. An over arching theme of history and classical music cements the album, and it remains on of the  perfect indie pop records ever crafted.

Download: “1901″, “Lisztomania”, “Armistice”, “Love Like A Sunset, Pt. 1″

8. Kala, M.I.A. (2007)

Her intention was to work with Timbaland, and I have never been so glad an intended collaboration fell through. This album is a stark work of realism, where much of the music that was big in the 2000s was fluffy escapism ( see: the Black Eyed Peas bigger hits after Fergie joined them). M.I.A. never winces from her ambition, and creates a piece of art that is fearless in its honesty.

Download: “Paper Planes”, “Boyz”, “Hussel”, “World Town”

7. Gold, Ryan Adams (2001)

I forgive Ryan Adams a lot of things- drunken outbursts, bad records, marrying Mandy Moore ( okay, that’s my own fan girl issue. I actually like Mandy Moore. A lot). This album remains my favorite of his solo work, a warm album about love, loss, and Sylvia Plath.  His most famous tracks remain here.

Download: “Sylvia Plath”, “When The Stars Go Blue”, “New York, New York”, “Firecracker”

6. The Marshall Mathers LP, Eminem (2000)

He is a homophobe, a misogynist, and abusive in his lyrics. Every bone in my body tells me that I should object what he is saying. But I can’t because he speaks of these things with a world-weary humor and a truthfulness that cannot be ignored. Easily one of the best writer’s in hip hop, he is backed with strong beats and fearlessness.

Download: “Stan”, “The Way I Am”, “The Real Slim Shady”, “Criminal”

5. Bring Me Your Love, City and Colour (2008)

Stark songs about love. It’s really a simple album by Dallas Green, so different from his day job with screamo act Alexisonfire, and while that band is certainly a great band, I always prefer Green on his solo releases, where his gift for melody and introspection shine.

Download: “Sleeping Sickness”, “Waiting…”, “As Much As I Ever Could”, “The Girl”

4. Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Flaming Lips (2002)

I’m sorry, but I love both the weirdo psychedelia of the 90s Flaming Lips, and the spaced out prog rock of the 2000s Flaming Lips. Both are entertaining as all hell, because both have Wayne Coyne, who is the most entertaining person in rock and roll. This, their melancholic masterpiece, remains their best known and best work.

Download: ” Do You Realize??”, “It’s Summertime”, “Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. 1″, “Fight Test”

3. Funeral, Arcade Fire (2004)

Wildly expansive, highly original arrangements from a music collective who used personal tragedy to create an album so unique that it’s really hard for me to come up with the words I want to use to explain how much I love this record. I’ll try with the following: brilliant, fresh, powerful, and magical.

Download: ” Rebellion (Lies)”, “Wake Up”, “Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)”, “Neighborhood #2 (Laika)”

2. Kid A, Radiohead (2000)

Radiohead’s desire to reinvent itself at every turn has created a catalog of work that is mind-blowing in its creativity and quality. This, their inspired peak, was an album of jazzy orchestral mass of strange songs and cryptic lyrics that was originally divisive, but once the dust settled and everyone remembered that not every album could be O.K. Computer, it became clear that Radiohead was at it’s best when they surprised us.

Download: “Everything in Its Right Place”, “Morning Bell”, “The National Anthem”, “Optimistic”

1. White Blood Cells, White Stripes  (2001)

My favorite White Stripes album changes constantly, but I keep coming back to White Blood Cells. Maybe it’s because I discovered them with this album, but certainly it has something to do with the ambition of some of the songs. The primitive percussion of Meg White suits the elaborate guitar playing of Jack White, and they remain the best indie rock duo I can think of. Ferocious, ground breaking rock and roll.

Download: “We’re Gonna Be Friends”, The Union Forever”, “Fell In Love With A Girl”, “Now Mary”, “This Protector”

Friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget.-Amanda Kunkle

During the course of watching American Idol  season 7, I began writing recaps on Entertainment Weekly’s old TV Fan site, where they allowed for blog posts to be done by the general public. It was part review central, part social networking, and part funny farm. I was just curious to see if anyone would read one of my recaps, since my blog at that time was getting absolutely no hits. It was just a lark, and I had no intention of pushing it past the first couple.

While perusing the site one evening, I came across a hilariously written and slightly naughty recap written by someone nicknamed Bitten. I just had to comment on it, and I told her what a crazy person she was. She responded on my own recap, and a new and deeply important ( to me) friendship was born that very night.

L, as I’m gonna call her for the sake of privacy for her family, was completely unlike anyone I had ever known. She was open, profane, smart, beautiful, loyal, sexy, generous, warm, and mostly she was fun. We would never physically meet, but we would spend hours online, chatting away about our kids and life in general. Most people would probably dismiss our relationship as somewhat shallow, but they would be missing the point of our relationship entirely. She lived in Tennessee, I lived in Canada, we bonded over a frivolous thing, but we still chose to be friends not by chance or by location, but by the fact that from the instant we started communicating, we understood each other.

We had rules- she was a Southern conservative, and I’m a Canuck liberal, so we never discussed politics. But we also encouraged each other to be open and honest about everything else. We never censored our selves or any others. We encouraged each other to dream and to follow through on those dreams. With the help of others, we ended up creating a new community for those who wanted to join in our insanity, and now we have hundreds of members, and a growing circle of friends, both close and acquaintances, to rely on. While real life has taken a toll on me and my ability to participate as I once did, L maintained it and loving cultivated this world, and for that, We all referred to her as Queen B.

L, though, was mostly my champion. My Tawanda girls always encouraged my writing from the start. I often feel that they have more faith in me than they should, but they also make me feel that I really do have a knack for what I love, and they are the first people in my life to really push me to do what I am now doing. L was the first person who saw my screenplay, and I was adamant she give her complete and honest opinion. She gave it, man, did she give it. She said every word with love and I respected her all the more for it, because she knew what she was saying could potentially hurt my feelings. I keep her Adobe’d copy of the screenplay with notes on my computer to refer to as I carefully rewrite it, and I hope to finish it one day soon.

L loved her girls, the wide net of women who collected together on a single website then expanded into real life trips and inside jokes abut blue drinks, diverse guilty pleasure music and television, stories about our kids insanity, and the ultimate belief that when push came to shove, we’d all be there to save each other from whatever was wrong in our lives. Through illnesses, birthdays, losses, marriages- L was always there with a plan, a joke, a song, a smile. She knew our secrets and our fantasies, and she never judged you on them or your other idiosyncratic habits. She knew I’m a mess in my head, but she was nothing but encouraging and comforting, pointing out my flaws when she needed to and reminding me of my strengths when I needed the reminder. I, in turn, admired her ferocious force of nature. Even online, when she walked into the chat room, she shined like a shiny new penny.

A lot of the time, though, we’d talk about writing. She was always saying how much she admired my writing. I was in awe of her skills. She would insist she wasn’t a writer, but anyone who has ever read a Bitten blog post or one of her many online stories knows she was, at her heart, a word lover and an amazing story-teller. I’m so glad we were smart enough to save all of the TV Fan blog columns before they disappeared into cyber purgatory, and they are there to remind us of her talent and humor and slightly twisted world view.

As my screenplay is finished, as my novel is finished, as anything I am currently working on is finished, it will be finished with a heavy heart. I learned last week that my dear friend and beloved partner in crime passed away. She leaves behind her family and two young children, but also a community of girlfriends who will miss her wisdom and her joy. 

I spent the better part of the week crying and shaking, stunned by the news. It’s always tragic when someone so young dies. All I can think about was the last thing we talked about was the upcoming season of American Idol, which I still write about extensively for my own amusement and the amusement of the world we belong to. It was just a short tweet on Twitter, but it was welcomed. There were also some jokes about needing a coffee bong, as L liked to mock my expensive Starbucks addiction. We hadn’t been nearly as active over the summer together as we had been. Real life does sometimes interfere with the idealized life you create for yourselves in cyber land. I know she was supposed to meet up with a couple of mutual girlfriends for a concert. I was looking forward to hearing about it.

Now, I am feeling heavy-hearted and deeply sad. And the first thing I did  when I sat down to work on my writing was change the dedication on my novel. It’s now dedicated to the two women who always believed in me- my mother, who passed in 2000, and my darling friend L, who never wavered in her belief that I could be something great.

Queen B, you will be truly missed, and I love you. And I promise to use hyphens.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.- Anonymous

” Though I know I’ll never lose affection/ For people and things that went before/ I know I’ll often stop and think about them/ In my life, I love you more.”- John Lennon

I recognize much of the teen age angst of Glee because it was my teen-aged angst. I had grown up with parents that valued an education above all else. They didn’t care what kind of education, just get one. I’m sure my vast knowledge of popular culture wasn’t their first choice, but I’m sure they appreciate me having something I love in my life. But even in the confines of these small rural outposts, I could find what I needed to stave off the boredom and quench the thirst for French New Wave and the discography of the Clash I developed in my teenaged years. It was better than going out and getting drunk like many of my classmates did. I’m pretty convinced that’s why my classmates didn’t talk to me.

But growing up in small towns with a more progressive personal mindset often got me in trouble with my peers. I never sat idly by as they tossed around bigoted terms that growing up in a 99% white town in the middle of the Canadian Bible Belt, and my reputation as a Commie loon follows me to this day ( I kind of wear it with pride). Which is why I clearly identified with ” Preggers”. I knew many of the blonde pretty cheerleader types who ended up pregnant by the eleventh grade, usually after wine coolers or beer at a party. I knew the slightly femme guy in the back who had a fondness for sequins and introduced me to his father as his girlfriend, and then I’d sit and listen to his father beg me to convince his son to rejoin the hockey team, despite the fact the last time the poor guy was on the ice, he executed a perfect double axel in the middle of a power play. In hockey skates no less. I was one of the kids so obsessed with my creative life that I was deeply offended when I didn’t get the part, or the assignment, or the song.

Watching last nights Glee was at times, for me, emotionally wrenching. I clearly identify with Kurt in a profound way. Not the coming out as gay part, but trying so desperately to maintain a relationship with a parent who disapproves of your passions. I had my brothers and mom as a buffer between me and my father. Kurt, an only child of a working class single father, has nothing. The fact that Kurt feels compelled to lie is heartbreaking, but it is like that across the world for gay teens. Ryan Murphy said in a recent L.A. Times article that a little of his own life made its way into his characterization of Kurt, and I can see it in the tender way Murphy laid out Kurt’s scenes with his father, played by a surprisingly good Mike O’Malley. Chris Colfer, in his scenes tonight, was both hysterically funny, touchingly sad, and devastatingly true to life. When Kurt comes out to his father after joining the football team in a bid to cover up why he was dancing around in black sequined lycra, it’s a pure moment. More shocking and pure is his father’s reaction- it’s kind of hard to deny your son may be gay when he asks for a pair of sensible heels when he’s three. Or has a hope chest. Which is full of tiaras. O’Malley plays it as a matter of fact, not deeply profound or overly emotional. It is what it is. He’s not overjoyed about it, but he certainly isn’t going to erupt into a homophobic screed.

The Quinn-Finn-Puck story line was a little more Degrassi conventional. First, this show does a great job playing off of Cory Monteith’s naive portrayal of Finn. He’s blank, he’s clueless, but he knows what he is and he is trying to figure out how to make it out without being enormously gifted at things that are more obvious paths of freedom. He plays on a losing football team, and he doesn’t have the grades to make it on academic scholarships. But he knows enough to realize he must get out of Lima. Quinn, pretty and perky, on a championship cheerleading squad, probably would score some sort of athletic scholarship at the very least,  but the news of her pregnancy leaves her in the lurch. She can’t escape with a baby on her hip.  Her telling of the “conception” to Finn was ludicrous to us in the TV audience, but would it really seem ludicrous to Finn? Think of all the guys you went to high school with who still insist you can’t get a girl pregnant if you have sex standing up. It turns out, though, Quinn has been naughty. She got drunk, and feeling particularly fat that day, she slept with Puck. He is the real father of her baby. Puck, never having a real dad, wants to do the right thing by Quinn, but Quinn also realizes that Puck, despite his good intentions, is never going to escape being a “Lima Loser”. She sees Finn as her way out of this hell, and even he isn’t a guarantee.

Meanwhile, we have the corresponding “pregnancy” of Terri Schuster, who now has her sister in on the scheme. Terri is a woman so obsessed with keeping her man that she’s not taking the more reasonable track in this sad situation, instead forcing herself to create an elaborate lie with padding and all. The news of Quinn and Finn’s little predicament gives Terri an idea. There is a sense of the illogical here ( how did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why don’t we ask the ref’s at that football game that didn’t hand out that delay of game penalty when the team does the ” Single Ladies” dance?), but Murphy always brings in the more soapy elements with a dash of humor. Quinn is bewildered by the woman handing her prenatal vitamins, but Terri is oblivious to Quinn’s wary demeanor.

The ” D” story of Sue’s continued revenge on Will was probably the most laugh out loud funny in the episode. Sue’s minor celebrity gets her a slot on the local news, where she advocates caning and littering. But she’s told she is only as good as her last championship, and the affiliate boss knows her Cheerios are defecting to Glee. So Sue, in her own special Machiavellian way, gets Sandy Ryerson back on staff. He is in charge of all the arts programs, including Glee. ( Note: Figgins, played by Iqbal Theba, played a memorable villain of the week in the first season of Chuck. He played a guy nicknamed ” Wookie” by Chuck. And when you see that Mumbai Airlines video, you can kind of see why. Now imagine him without a shirt. Yeah, now you see it). They design a plan to steal away an increasingly frustrated Rachel, who loses her shit over not getting the solo ” Tonight”. Will is trying to teach her a valuable and much needed lesson- that Glee is a team, and all members of that team need a moment to shine. This is proven by Tina’s sweetly compelling performance of ” Tonight”, and Will pointing out that with greater confidence, her stuttering is diminishing. Rachel then tries out for this version of ” Cabaret” Ryerson is putting on. If there is one truly crushing moment in the episode, it’s the fact Lea Michele’s gorgeous version of ” Taking Chances” is only a mere twenty seconds of screen time.  Rachel and Will later confront each other about their perceptions and their goals. When Will still refuses to hand over ” Tonight”, still giving Tina a moment to shine, Rachel impulsively quits Glee. Meanwhile, Will’s work with the football team to help loosen them up ( leading to that fabulous dance on the football field), and garners him three more Glee club members. He’s now got eleven.

Last night’s episode was the first truly great episode since the pilot, and I certainly hope it’s the blueprint for the rest of the series.  Murphy’s previous high school show, Popular, had moments of complete camp and whimsy at first, but ended up becoming completely ridiculous a lot of the time ( it’s still genius, but it’s massively flawed genius). This show could go off in a million different directions. But this is what I have noticed:

• The show is a musical, but not every episode is going to be heavy on the musical numbers. I think this helps it from turning into a version of Fame- The Later Years.
• It’s got a massive ensemble cast, and there are lesser characters, like the Cheerios and Footballers who help make up the show choir, that will get a bit of screen time without having much else to do. But if Murphy remembers to keep focus on one kid a show, it will get better.
• The pacing was better on this episode, and it will continue to get better. Anyone familiar with Murphy’s previous shows knows he is a guy who fits a lot into episodes, and sometimes the timelines don’t add up. But he does somehow make it work.
• The cast is winning, but I am beginning to think where the writers are taking Rachel is dangerous territory. I know she’s supposed to be a self absorbed spoiled brat, but she was at least likable. I found her disturbingly unlikable this week. I know it was a set up for next week’s episode, but be careful.

Quoteworthy:

“All you need is some limed corpses beneath the floorboards.” – Sue to Sandy at his very creepy house.

Grade- A-

But I don’t write it. I’m also not a fanfic writer or even much of a fanfic fan ( though I’ve read some doozies in my life for various fandoms). But I am a WRITER, so even if I might prefer Penny showing Sheldon the ways of the world, it’s not my place to question the writers of this show about their choice. After all, it annoys me when a world I have crafted so meticulously over time gets ripped by a vocal group of fans without knowing what the ultimate endgame is. While I believe I know what the endgame for this show is, I really don’t have a clue. Plus, Chuck Lorre surprises me more than most sitcom writers.

The guys have returned from the arctic looking like wooly mammoths ( except Sheldon, who looks like Evil Spock from ” Mirror Mirror”). They settle in at home, and Leonard goes to tell Penny he’s home. Broken sitcom convention # 1: Normally, there would be some give and take, with the couple’s kiss coming towards the end of the episode ( see: Ross and Rachel, Friends, ” The One Where Ross Finds Out”). These writers have Penny and Leonard making out before the credits.

Turns out, Sheldon believes he has proven String Theory at the North Pole. Also turns out that his comrades have fudged the results to make him happy ( seriously, Sheldon in close quarters for three months? I’m in love with Sheldon, fer chissakes, but I would have gone along with the sled dog plan myself). This has Sheldon confronting the very happy at the moment Leonard, who admits to it quickly, and also admits to the plots they came up with to murder Sheldon ( really did like the idea of tying someone to four different sled dog teams and yelling mush). Heartbroken, Sheldon retreats to his room, where Penny attempts to cheer him up by first singing ” Soft Kitty” ( ” I’m not sick.” ” I don’t know what your sad song is.” ” I don’t have a sad song, I’m not a child!”), then trying to relate a story about losing out her spot as head cheerleader. She also manages to spoil a bit of Star Trek, which causes Sheldon to cry even harder.

After suffering the humiliation of informing the Physics department that he did not, in fact, prove string theory, Sheldon is mocked by Kripke at work- twice. Devastated, Sheldon resigns and takes off to Texas, where Mom is. Penny insists that Leonard goes and bring him home ( all S/P shippers together- awwwwww). It doesn’t take much- Mary Cooper just insists that evolution is an opinion, which sends atheistic Sheldon into a tizzy, and he heads home, where this will promptly be forgotten by next week.

The show ends with Leonard and Penny in bed together, where, let’s face it, it’s really weird.

Jim Parsons can do no wrong. The show always works best when Sheldon is the center of the episode and we are forced, along with the rest of the cast, to try and balance Sheldon’s unique world view with the structure of ” normal” society. This took it one step further. Sheldon is a character very much in control at all times, and it was fun to see him breakdown a bit. Everyone has their breaking points. We just discovered Sheldon’s.

As for the other story, Leonard and Penny- I’m curious to see where this is going to go, I admit it. I want to see how this idea, so unpopular with a segment of the show’s fandom, plays out. I know a lot of people complain of the lack of chemistry between Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco, especially since the chemistry between Parsons and Cuoco is electrifying. But I find they do have chemistry together. I enjoy their scenes together. I find their chemistry quieter, less intrusive than non-existant. It’s atypical of the sitcom standard to put the less explosive couple together.  The fangirl in me may be disappointed, but the writer in me is curious to see what the writing team has in store for us.

Grade- A-

PS- I could handle a spinoff of just Sheldon’s mom. Laurie Metcalf is a genius.

This little nugget from Barney explains the relationship talk so well, don’t you think?

See, Barney and Robin’s kiss at the end of last season caused Lily to a have a ” woo” moment, but they played it off as neither of them really wanting to take it forward. Except they have sex all summer long. That info makes Lily crazy, and she begins to pressure them into having ” the talk”. Robin insists they’ve tried to have ” the talk”, but neither of them likes ”the talk” , so whatever. Why do they have to define it? Lily can think of one reason- you don’t end up going to a hockey game with built like a Mack truck Brad ( ” Wow, there are really six of them…” Robin exclaims after seeing his six pack) and having Barney going to the game to punch Brad in the face. So Lily tries the next logical step- lock them in a room until they have ” the talk”. And when push comes to shove, they decide to lie. Except the only people they’re lying to is themselves. Barney and Robin are a couple. Just don’t tell them that.

The other story, Ted, starting his new job at Columbia as an adjunct professor ( ” P-R-O-F-… F?”) gives us a schizoid douche Ted, as he changes his mind about what kind of professor he is going to be thirty times in ten seconds ( “You can call me Ted. Professor Mosby. T-Dog. Don’t call me T-Dog”). Turns out his ” class” is really Economics 305.  But as we know, the mother is somewhere in that Economics 305 class.

The show was uneven all through its fourth season, with some really great moments in between totally suck ass moments. This episode is a smashing return to form. It plays with the concept of relationships needing specific labels while admitting that the labels help the rest of the world know what you are. The show, for all it’s comedic brilliance, has been one of the best examples of the masks we place on everyday to impress a society that judges. Barney and Robin refuse to label their relationship for themselves out of fear and past mistakes, but in their own way label themselves as the iconoclasts they pretend to be. Lily’s obsession over the Barney and robin dynamic fits with Lily’s desire to be perceived as New York Typical ( even her double dating couples fantasy was oddly Americana- camping? Can you see Lily camping?). Even a woefully underused Marshall was complicit- he sees Professor Ted as Indiana Jones, and gets him a fedora and bull whip. But it’s Ted, so worried as always of what people really think of him, that learns a lesson. Late for his class, he doesn’t have time to think about a persona. He just talks about architecture.

Grade: B+

What it handed us was a wallop of emotionally charged story telling with a dose of “Ohmigod did they just do that?” horror.

It turns out that this show is a worthy successor to my beloved and late X-Files.

We start with the piercing sound of metal on metal, and then a guy staggering out of a car crash, bleeding from a head wound. He runs off as a crowd gathers. He gets access to an apartment building and promptly kills a man. He then takes out a contraption that seems  to plug into the soft palette of the mouth, causing shape shifting. He takes on a new body, leaving the old one on the floor. Then he leaves.

Meanwhile, Peter and Walter are having one of their cute moments at a grocery store. It’s Peter’s birthday on Friday, and Walter has it in his head that Peter needs a birthday custard. Peter insists he hates custard. Walter, in his permanent state of self loathing psychosis, neglects to register this. Seems alternate universe Peter adored custard. This world’s Peter just wants to get the hell out of the grocery store. He gets his wish with a phone call.

This is where we meet Agent Jessop. She’s been assigned to find out about the car crash. Seems the shapeshifter  has crashed into a FBI issued SUV. Peter arrives with Walter, angry and panicked. Jessop tries to get some answers about Peter’s relationship to the FBI, but Peter is having none of it. The SUV belongs to Olivia, who is nowhere to be found. Jessop and Peter argue about what she needs to know ( apparently, nothing, it’s classified) while Walter fiddles with the SUV. Suddenly, Olivia crashes through the windshield, unconscious and bleeding.

This all happens before the title card.

Olivia is rushed to hospital, clinging to life, Peter and Walter on her tail. the doctors inform our beloved Bishops that Olivia won’t make it. Walter refuses to believe this information, and we get a beautiful scene of Walter, helplessly and lovingly standing over a shattered Olivia, with Peter mournfully observing through a window.

 Jessop heads off to FBI headquarters, where Broyles confronts her. It’s a routine accident, and she is ordered to sign off on the report. Broyles then crashes Peter’s pity party, and informs him that he is off to Washington. seems that the government wants to shut down Fringe division. Peter himself then questions the existence of Fringe. We then see Jessop at a computer, trying to get into the Fringe files. She uses a stolen password to get access.

Rachel ( the fabulous Ali Graynor) shows up to execute her sister’s living will, and she tells Peter to say good bye. Peter does so, only to be shocked by Olivia suddenly waking and speaking in greek. She cannot recall anything that happened to her, but knows instinctively that she is in danger and begs Peter for her gun.

Peter returns to FBI Boston to discover that his credentials have been revoked. Jessop then rescues him, taking him with her. She gives him the file on the accident, but expects answers about FRinge. Peter tells her that they do nothing. Jessop is going after a guy she believes is involved with the accident, but discovers a dead body. Peter calls in Walter, who gets into it with an M.E. Jessop gives him the body to take to his lab.

A new guy walks into a shop. He asks the man at the counter for a Selectric 251. He is informed it never existed. The new guy insists. The counter dude tells him it’s been six years, and he won’t be waiting forever.  The new guy sits at the typewriter and types in that he has finished his mission and asking for extraction. Then, in a mirror, he sees his answer. His mission is not over. Finish it. And kill her.

Charlie shows up, and gives Olivia a story about his days as a police officer in which he was shot and hospitalized in the line of duty. He also tells her that she now has a gun under her pillow. Olivia finally admits being afraid, and that she cannot load her gun.

Walter has Astrid making custard as he performs an autopsy on this mangled body. Turns out our dead guy was a victim to a shape shifter.  He then shows Jessop and Peter a video of experiments he and William Bell did on a girl a while ago. They were trying to make her see God. They got a tale of the shape shifting mercenary.

Broyles in front of the senate is a hoot. He refuses to be talked down to by Senators who know jack about what he does, and tells them that he has spent his whole life protecting them from fears both common and strange. Unimpressed, they pull Fringe Divisions funding. Broyles meets Nina outside, where she tells him to save the day. And they kiss ( nearly died at the kiss).

Jessop and Peter are called into a mortuary with a body matching wounds that Astrid has red flagged. Jessop informs him that her father was a soldier and that he was adamant that he always finish his mission. Peter then clicks on the fact that the shape shifter’s mission was Olivia, and he flies out of there like a bat out of hell.

The shape shifter, though, has now taken over Olivia’s nurse, and is asking leading questions to Olivia, who really cannot remember a thing about the accident or anything else from that time. Disappointed in getting no new information, the shape shifter attacks Olivia. Jessop arrives and shoots the shapeshifter, who takes off through a window. Peter, Jessop, and Charlie all head to the hospital’s underbelly. The shapeshifter gets behind Charlie, who shoots. Jessop and Peter both run to where Charlie is, and he’s standing over the dead body of the nurse, broken contraption beside them.

After a nice Olivia and Peter moment in which Peter brings her flowers and they talk, Peter hand Broyles the shape shifter gadget, and tells him to use that to save Fringe’s funding. Our last moment is Charlie in the hospital basement. He’s lugging something to the incinerator. Turns out- it’s Charlie. Charlie is no longer Charlie, it’s the shape shifter.

Overall, a thrilling, quick, tight episode. I’m still unsure about our new agent, Jessop. She’s shown with a bible at the end. Is she looking for something to confirm end of days? Our regular cast is in good form, and the story is now taking real shape. I’m not much for mythology shows, but I’m totally getting wrapped up in this one.

Grade- A

6:00 Opening spiel, then NPH singing in a white dinner jacket. Yummy.

6:04 ” I grew up on television.”

6:05 Shaiman and Whitman wrote the song. Knew it.

6:07 Tour of the Emmy set.

6:09 Funny Emmy clip reel.

6:11 Jon Hamm ( sigh) and Tina Fey ( sigh). Supporting Actress in a comedy.

6:12 WTF Chenoweth?

6:13 The winner is… Kristin Chenoweth (stunner shocker but happiness!) She sobs her way funnily through her speech. I wanna hug her.

6:08 Comedy categories first. I’m suddenly very nervous for hubby Jim Parsons.

6:21 Some Neil and Hodgman funnies, then a convenient plug for HIMYM.

6:22 So surprised 30 Rock won a writing award. (Sarcasm)

6:27 Jon Cryer wins. Why?

6:28 One very pissed off NPH/30 Rock fan right here. ARGH!

6:33 I’m very worried about the rest of my picks. I’m 1 for three. The one- writing.

6:35 Justin Timberlake presenting Actress in a Comedy series. And he’s funny and charming.

6:36 Toni Colette wins. I’m way off tonight. I’m trying to figure out what tonight is gonna be. Watch Charlie Sheen win in a couple of minutes.  This is turning into a nightmare show for me 9 although I like Toni and Kristin, I like their shows, but I honestly thought they wouldn’t win).

6:39 NPH asks Cryer to show the envelope. It really does say ” Jon Cryer”.

6:41 The GG girls turn it over to Tina and JT, who thank Lorne Michaels for their Guest Actor wins. Then the GG girls present  Best Comedy direction to The Office’s Jeff Blitz.

6:48 Rob Lowe presenting Actor in a comedy. He mocks himself.

6:52 I’m gonna drink an entire bottle of wine right now and drown ,y tears because Jim Parsons did not win.

7:29 I have spent the last forty minutes trying to fix a computer crash. Rundown- Reality shows no surprise, mini/TV movies are pretty ho hum. Dr. Horrible- hilarious! Love the buffering jokes. And Captain Hammer to boot. Jessica Lange beats out Drew Barrymore.

7:59 Apparently Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco were on stage with Jim Parsons when he presented. I didn’t notice as I laid at the foot of my TV stand staring worshipfully at a comedy God who was robbed of his Emmy. Really, I need a life.

8:01 I do not have a problem. All of you shut up.

8:02 Jimmy Fallon won as a member of the SNL writing team, right?

8:03 Jimmy is making me laugh. He hasn’t done this since he was on SNL.

8:05 It has to be “Motherlover”. Seriously.

8:05 It’s the Oscars team. Are you kidding me?

8:06 Ricky Gervais. Worshiping at the feet of the king.

8:07 ” Me, again.” HA!

8:08 Gervais present best comedy variety show to The Daily Show. Never disappointed when TDS gang wins. As I am also much in ,love with Jon Stewart. Have been since his MTV talk show in the mid 90s.

8:16 Prezzie time. But no Prezzie speech. Thank God.

8:17 Drama time. Great. Night should be ending soon. Crushing disappointments tonight. Cryer/Baldwin just took me out.

8:19 LL and Chris O’Donnell not funny at all. Supporting Actor goes to… Michael Emerson. My best friend Rosie probably just screamed with joy. I still couldn’t tell you what role he played.

8:21 Chris and LL also doing Supporting Actress. And that award goes to Cherry Jones.  Who is a theater goddess, so we are delighted.

8:23 In Memorium.

8:33 Hot vampires!

8:35 Ellen Burstyn and Michael J. Fox present directing for drama.

8:36 The award goes to the E.R. dude.

8:37 Now they present drama writing. I’m guessing… Mad Men.

8:38 Yeah, shocker again (Sarcasm).

8:39 Yeah, I’m one of those guys at Starbucks with a computer or notebook, writing away.

8:40 Simon ” Hot accent” Baker is presenting the actress drama award to Glenn Close. I am WAY OFF  with these damn acting awards this year. WTF?

8:44 Right now I’m kinda hoping Hugh Laurie wins and makes me 0-for-eight for acting awards.

8: 48 Dana Delaney presents Actor in a drama.  Bryan Cranston wins. This is the one I get right. And he rightfully deserves it. His performance is searing.

8:52 Bob Newhart presents Best Comedy. And drones on a bit.  But has some good lines.

8:54 30 Rock. Which is about as surprising as me eating peanut M&Ms.

8:56 I have never been so unhappy to see Cat Deeley in my life. I want my final award.

9:00 Emmys are going over.

9:00 I’m actually looking forward to Criminal Minds.

9:01 Sigourney Weaver presents best drama to Mad Men. No effing surprise.

That is it for the night and the year. Early surprises in acting awards turn into a night where many repeat winners come along.  Still crushed about Jim Parsons losing. May never be okay again…

Can’t wait until The Big Bang Theory premieres tomorrow night.

Till the next one ( Golden Globes in January, everyone!)

The show has the potential to collapse under its massive ensemble cast- there are at least twelve significant roles on this show. That is a lot of people to try and work in to a show, complete with individual story lines and moments to shine. And this episode ended up feeling overstuffed and under developed simultaneously.

The valid question off the top, asked by Cheerleader Quinn, was whether Will had even tried to fulfil his performing dreams. After shop teacher Henri returns from his cough syrup induced thumb amputating shop accident, a sad round of ” He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” with Will, Ken, Sheets and Things’ Howard, Henri, and Sandy ” Stay 50 Feet Away From Children” Ryerson leads will to form an a cappella group, launching into a really fun version of Montell Jordan’s 90s classic ” This Is How We Do It”. This plays into Will’s B story, where he bonds with his dad ( the fabulousity that is Victor Garber- alas, no song), who admits his failings with ease. Fathers on television are routinely maligned, often absent and mean. It’s nice to see a father-son relationship that is rather warm and friendly.

The other story of the episode, the Glee kids hiring that annoying prick Dakota Stanley, honestly didn’t go anywhere. I get that they were trying to create a bit of tension between Finn and Rachel, and allowing Quinn and her minions try to disrupt Glee quietly, but it just felt… ugh. With no Glee performances this week, the show felt kind of empty.

The one thing that did work well this episode was the “C” story between Mercedes ( Amber Riley, so fantastic on ” Bust The Windows”) and Kurt ( Chris Colfer, a TV star in the making). Mercedes instincts were right on the money, but she allowed insecuirty and fear ( and a couple of ne’er-do-well Cheerios) to get her hopes up about Kurt, who was being a supportive friend. Ryan Murphy said in an interview that he wanted Kurt’s coming out to echo his own, so the one real moment of the entire episode was Kurt tentative telling to Mercedes, followed by a tear and an acknowledgement that he really wasn’t as brave as Mercedes wanted him to be.

Overall, there were some good moments, but over all, the cluttered, scattered tone left me wanting( and too much Terri- I really dislike her). Rumor has it next week is going to be a hum dinger of an episode, focused on Colfer’s delightful Kurt. I certainly hope all the love I’m hearing is legit, and not just a bunch of TV critics trying to sell me snake oil.

 Quoteworthy:

” I have no thumbs!” Henri, in a game of one ups-manship

” The parents discovered we’re feeding their kids prison food”.- Figgins

” Josh Groban likes a blousy alcoholic.”- Josh Groban, cementing my belief he’s a singing comedian.

” Is cliche a bad thing?”- Finn

” I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits.”- Sue to the Cheerios

” If you blow this for me I’ll shove my arm so far down your throat you will be able to taste my arm pit hair.”- Ken to Puck.

” I told Figgins we’d end up with a bunch of pansies if we didn’t get some hot wood in their hands.”- Sandy

Grade- C

I never got the chance to meet Larry Gelbart. He was on my list of people I’d have to dinner in a perfect world. I can hardly believe he’s gone. It was only this year, watching PBS’ invaluable series on American comedy Make ‘Em Laugh, where I saw him looking still spry and as quick-witted as ever ( he was never a dull interview). Now, after a couple of shell shocked months where I have seen many of the idols of my childhood shake off their mortal coil, all I can say to this devastating loss as a fan of comedy is:

Gen. Wilson Spaulding Barker: Nurse, is everybody around here crazy?
Lt. Ginger Bayliss: Everybody who’s sane is, sir.

( M*A*S*H*, “Chief Surgeon Who?”, 1972)

I didn’t say it would be logical.

So long, Larry Gelbart. And thanks. Because of people like you, I wanted to write.

CBS: How I Met Your Mother (8 pm EST), The Big Bang Theory (9:30 EST)

NBC: Heroes ( 8 pm EST), Chuck ( beginning in March 2010)

Fox: House ( 8 pm EST), Lie To Me ( 9 pm EST)

CW: Gossip Girl ( 9 pm EST)

ABC: Dancing With The Stars ( 8 pm EST), Castle ( 10 pm EST)

Mondays are again cluttered with good TV and fan faves. Expect Castle to see  ratings to increase as NBC replaces scripted TV with Jay Leno, Fox and CW go local,  and CBS airs the aging but still popular CSI: Miami.  Also, Big Bang will likely become the most watched scripted show on a Monday by May. Yes, it will surpass lead in Two and a Half Men. HIMYM  at 8 pm, as well as it’s 100th episode, may seal this sitcom’s fate. I predict that unless there is a serious ratings bump and it does a better anchoring job than in the past, this will be HIMYM final season. Heroesis in turmoil after two seasons of disappointing stories and uneven episodes, and the fans are leaving in droves. Only a section of diehards are here, and we’re holding out hope that Tim Kring turns it around. Introducing a new villain, as much as we all love Sylar, will help. CW still has the corner on the youth buzz market, but One Tree Hill  is past it’s prime, and Gossip Girl  needs less shock value, more actual story telling. All the whispers about the House  season six premiere being amazing leads me to believe House’s break down is going to revive the aging series and give Hugh Laurie something new to do.  Lead out Lie To Me still has two things going for it- an intriguing premise and Tim Roth. The biggest disappointments are the fact none of NBC’s one hour dramas, including Monday night entry Trauma, seem to be worthy of my time, and Chuck  won’t be back until March. Unless, of course, NBC’s entire fall sked falls apart. Which it will.

Tuesdays:

CBS:  NCIS ( 8 pm EST), NCIS: Los Angeles ( 9 pm EST), The Good Wife ( 10 pm EST)

NBC: forget it.

Fox: So You Think You Can Dance ( 8 pm EST), American Idol ( January 2010)

CW: destroying the happy memories of my youth.

ABC: V (November 2009), DWTS Results show ( 9 pm)

Frankly, I’m not a huge NCIS  fan, I refuse to watch the new CW revivals of early 90s Fox shows, so outside of Fox’s dance and singing programs and the very promising looking CBS drama The Good Wife, the only thing I’m waiting for is V. I’m a geek, yes.

Wednesdays:

CBS: Criminal Minds ( 9 pm EST)

NBC: Nope.

Fox: SYTYCD Results Show ( 8 pm EST), Glee ( 9 pm EST), Idol Results Show ( January 2010, well, more like February 2010)

CW: America’s Next Top Model ( 8 pm EST)

ABC: Modern Family ( 9 pm EST)

I have faith that Criminal Mindswill find its way back after an uneven season that has given us a couple of classic episodes and several clunkers, but I’m such a Gleek that for the first time I’m really compelled to watch something besides my favorite BAU gang. Fox has put so much money into the musical dramedy that picking up the back nine is a good bet. NBC has nothing new to offer, really, just SVU and the disappointing looking Mercy. Modern Family  is the most interesting looking sitcom not on NBC Thursdays.

Thursdays:

CBS: The Mentalist ( 10 pm EST)

NBC: Community ( October 2009), Parks and Recreation ( 8:30 pm EST), The Office (9:00 pm EST), 30 Rock ( 9:30 pm EST)

Fox: Bones ( 8 pm EST), Fringe ( 9 pm EST)

CW: neither show is on my radar.

ABC: I’ve stopped watching Grey’s Anatomy.  No George, no me.

It’s either indulge my Comedy geek or indulge my science geek. Right now, I’m leaning to the science geek, as rewatching Fringe over the summer has reminded me that this is a really good show and deserves my patronage. And I’m still a Bones  fan. But giving up NBC’s one solidly good night of TV is a tough one. This may be the night I’m grateful for reruns. At least there is no Sophie’s Choice at 10, where I can watch Simon Baker’s charming performance on The Mentalist  all I want. I’m not into vampire love triangles and I’ve never been an avid Supernatural fan, and ABC’s soapy line up leaves me cold.

Fridays:

CBS:  I don’t watch any of them.

NBC: Or them.

Fox: Dollhouse (9 pm EST)

CW: Never watched Smallville.

ABC: Ugly Betty ( 9 pm EST)

Push comes to shove, it’s Dollhouse. I would follow Joss Whedon to the grave and I refuse to give up on this interesting but not yet great show. If it proves to infuriating, I’ll let the Betty gang continue to crush my heart with it’s continued downward spiral.

Saturdays and Sundays:

CBS: The Amazing Race ( 8 pm EST), Three Rivers ( 9 pm EST) ( both on Sunday)

NBC:  nada

Fox: The Simpsons ( 8 pm EST), the Seth McFarlane 90 minute block ( 8:30 pm EST)

CW: literally nothing. CW has dropped weekend programming.

ABC: can someone tell me why these shows are all still on?

ABC’s very tired line up of warm-hearted sob stories and drippy soapy dramedies has gotten boring. CW has nothing on. NBC has football. There is literally NOTHING on Saturday nights, and only CBS and Fox have anything worth watching on Sundays. Fox’s two hour comedy block is solid entertainment, still amusing, even if The Simpsons, entering it’s trillionth season, is creaking a bit ( it can still knock an episode out of the park once a season though). I’m not the biggest fan of Seth McFarlane’s work, but I certainly don’t begrudge him his phenomenal success. When I do watch The Family Guy I do laugh quite a bit. And The Cleveland Show is rumored to have more heart in the mix. CBS has the always reliable 60 Minutes,  and I love The Amazing Race, but launching Three Riverson Sundays is a bit of a gutsy move. CBS has a lot of faith in this show. I’m an Alex O’Loughlin fan, but I’m a bit worried about it.

Other shows to watch over the season:

HBO: Real Time With Bill Maher ( Fridays), Curb Your Enthusiasm (fall 2009)

ABC: Lost ( presumably Wednesdays, January/February 2010)

AMC: Mad Men ( currently airing on Sundays, with reruns throughout the week), Breaking Bad ( 2010), The Prisoner ( 2009/2010)

FX: Damages, Rescue Me, It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

TNT: The Closer

 NBC: The Olympics ( February 2010)

The fact I love this show should be no surprise to anyone, as I am also deeply in love with Ryan Murphy’s previous high school dramedy Popular  (Mary Cherry forever!). Glee in many ways hits similar tones comically and dramatically as this late 90s cult classic, and the struggles the students face are also similar. The slightly awkward, overly ambitious girl crushes on the cool jock boy who dates the pretty blonde cheerleader. There are kids with speech impediments and disabilities, and they aren’t all a size two. Murphy creates a real high school feeling. Then he throws on show stopping musical numbers.

Now, the audio of ” Gold Digger” is amazing, but it was hampered last night by poor mixing and editing.  In fact, that was an issue with all the musical numbers last night. If this show is going to work over the long haul, they have to fix it. Off sync is distracting.  And the “Push It” number was amazingly cringe worthy and hilarious at the same time. I watched it mouth agape and sniggering the entire time. That was right on the edge of appropriate and Murphy probably knows it ( the man also created Nip/Tuck, which has been crossing that line for years).

But there were some really great moments in the episode- Will and Emma’s chalk dust on the nose, Finn and Rachel bonding over their mutual love of music, Finn making the angels cry with that popping balloon, Rachel’s speech on teenage sexuality that made her a hero to a certain faction of horny teenage boys, every moment Jane Lynch and Jayma Mays were on screen, and the realization that Quinn and the Cheerios can kind of sing. As the Cheerios go in to spy for Sue Sylvester, expect high jinks to ensue.

The flaws,  though, have the potential to be too distracting. I like Jessalyn Gilsig a lot as an actor, but her character Terri is shrill and shrewish. I honestly wanted to punch her at various moments ( though I did snicker when she pointed out the children’s bedroom as the room for ” their daughter or gay son”). The Cheerios are still way into Mean Girls territory and have yet to be really fleshed out as characters. The same thing can be said about the jocks. There are those sync issues and they need to dirty up the vocal tracks as well ( last night was a little too polished and studio for my liking- only ” Take A Bow” came close to any real emotional connection, aside from Jayma Mays’ Emma sobbing through ” All By Myself” in her car).

Then there are the highs. The appealing youngsters are delightful as the ” island of misfit toys”, as Sue called them. Matthew Morrison ( Tony nominee for Light In The Piazza and the original Link in Hairspray)  is charming as Will, who only seems to come really alive when he’s at the school, doing Glee and interacting with the students. The incomparable Jane Lynch is clearly delighting in playing the vindictive, spoiled, entitled cheerleading coach, who gets the school to pay for European dry cleaners and for some reason has seen an elementary school production of Hair. There is sharp humor and commentary about relationships, the high school caste system, and the general malaise of education systems in North America.

After the completely charming pilot, this was a good follow up episode.

Pilot received an A from me. ” Showmance” gets a solid B+.

Quoteworthy!

Rachel: I guess I don’t have a gag reflex.

Emma: Years from now you’ll find that a blessing.

***

Coach Tanaka: I’m a minority so they can’t fire me, I’ll always be able to provide for you.

***

Kurt: Wait! One day you will all work for me.

Other things of note:

• Figures guys would join the Celibacy Club to try and bed their chaste girlfriends.
• Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt, is going to get a big episode coming up that Ryan Murphy has said is based on his own high school experience. If you know anything about Ryan Murphy, you can probably figure it out.
• I tend to hate cheerleaders in TV world. These ones take the cake.
• Quinn and Finn. I hate cutesy couples with rhyming names.
• Amber Reilly has a voice and a half!
• I do not remember the disco revivial of 1993. Anyone else?

Big Love

Breaking Bad

Damages

Dexter

House

Lost

Mad Men

I know Mad Men  is the mega buzz show right now, I know Lost fans think that it is THE GREATEST SHOW EVER ( they’re wrong). House  and Dexter both buckled under their previous genius this past season, Big Love is pretty bland for something that’s supposed to be so controversial ( it’s just another family drama). Damages  has bright spots, almost all involving Glenn Close, but is wildly inconsistent. My pick is the searing, surprising Breaking Bad, which is quickly surpassing even Mad Men as my new favorite cable drama.

Best Comedy

Entourage

Family Guy

Flight of the Conchords

How I Met Your Mother

The Office

30 Rock

Weeds

I’m picking 30 Rock because the only sitcom better than it isn’t even nominated. ( All Big Bang Theory fans unite in your grief!) It’s not that 30 Rock is undeserving, it’s just that TBBT is much more consistent.

Best Television Movie

Coco Chanel

Grey Gardens

Into The Storm

Prayers for Bobby

Taking Chance

It was just sheer brilliance.

Best Reality Competition Series

The Amazing Race

American Idol

Dancing With The Stars

Project Runway

Top Chef

This is obviously a case between what I want and what I know. Project Runway  is one of my favorite shows in history, but it can’t compete with the exotic locales and sheer scope of CBS multiple award winning reality show.  The fact is, The Amazing Race is amazing.

Best Reality Series

Antiques Roadshow

Dirty Jobs

Dog Whisperer

Intervention

Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D List

Mythbusters

Kathy Griffin FTW.

Best Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Late Show with David Letterman

Real Time with Bill Maher

Saturday Night Live

I’m sorry. I love Jon and Stephen to death, you know it, I know it. But Bill Maher has been a favorite of mine for years. I still disagree with ABC’s decision to scrap him, I admire HBO for not letting him go away into that good night, and Religulous was a thought provoking scream. Give him a goddamn Emmy.

Best Actor Drama

Simon Baker The Mentalist

Gabriel Byrne In Treatment

Bryan Cranston Breaking Bad

Michael C. Hall Dexter

Jon Hamm Mad Men

Hugh Laurie House

While I’m still smarting about Hugh Laurie being Emmyless, Bryan Cranston is giving the best performance on television right now. I’m thinking Laurie’s time may have passed and James Spader has his Emmy.

Best Actor Comedy

Alec Baldwin 30 Rock

Steve Carrell The Office

Jermaine Clement Flight of the Conchords

Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory

Tony Shaloub Monk

Charlie Sheen Two And A Half Men

Without question, Parsons is putting together a comedic performance that will go down in history. There is a very thin line he dances on between eccentric genius and hateful ass, but he plays it beautifully. For a character with little insight into the human condition, Parson’s Sheldon comes off as the most human of all. A lot of that credit must go to Parsons, who has an innate goodness and loads of charm. The two headed monster that is Alec Baldwin and Steve Carrell still have an excellent chance of winning, and one must never count Tony Shaloub out ( the Emmys love the guy). But my heart and soul believes that Parsons actually DESERVES it.

Best Actor Mini Series or Movie

Kevin Bacon Taking Chance

Kenneth Branagh Wallander: One Step Behind

Kevin Kline Cyrano de Bergerac: Great Performances

Brendan Gleeson Into The Storm

Sir Ian McKellan King Lear: Great Performances

Keifer Sutherland 24: Redemption

I never thought I would get a chance to see McKellen do Lear. I’m glad I got that chance, albeit on PBS. The highlight of my TV viewing life.

Best Actress Drama

Glenn Close Damages

Sally Field Brothers and Sisters

Mariska Hargitay Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Holly Hunter Saving Grace

Elisabeth Moss Mad Men

Kyra Sedgwick The Closer

Elisabeth Moss is so freakin’ good as Peggy Olson she has to win or there is no justice in this universe.

Best Actress Comedy

Christina Applegate Samantha Who?

Toni Colette United States of Tara

Julia Louis- Dreyfus The New Adventures of Old Christine

Tina Fey 30 Rock

Mary Louise Parker Weeds

Sarah Silverman The Sarah Silverman Program

Long time readers know I want to be Tina Fey when I grow up.

Best Actress Mini Series or Movie

Drew Barrymore Grey Gardens

Jessica Lange Grey Gardens

Shirley MacLaine Coco Chanel

Sigourney Weaver Prayers For Bobby

Chandra Wilson Accidental Friendship

It will be either Drew or Jessica, and I’m going with the former, because we forget what a good actor she is amongst the crazy that is her life.

Best Reality Host

Tom Bergeron Dancing With the Stars

Phil Keoghan The Amazing Race

Heidi Klum Project Runway

Padma Lakshimi and Tom Colicchio Top Chef

Jeff Probst Survivor

Ryan Seacrest American Idol

I have a bizarre crush on Tom Bergeron. And Cat Deely isn’t nominated.

Best Supporting Actor Drama

Christian Clemenson Boston Legal

Michael Emerson Lost

William Hurt Damages

Aaron Paul Breaking Bad

William Shatner Boston Legal

John Slattery Mad Men

Best supporting categories are the most prime for surprises, though if you have seen Breaking Bad, you know this is no surprise. Paul gives as good as he gets.

Best Supporting Actor Comedy

Jon Cryer Two and a Half Men

Kevin Dillon Entourage

Neil Patrick Harris How I Met Your Mother

Jack McBrayer 30 Rock

Tracy Morgan 30 Rock

Rainn Wilson The Office

Because I will not rest until Barney Stinson is awarded an Emmy.

Best Supporting Actress Drama

Rose Byrne Damages

Hope Davis In Treatment

Cherry Jones 24

Sandra Oh Grey’s Anatomy

Dianne Weist In Treatment

Chandra Wilson Grey’s Anatomy

Chandra Wilson is truly the heart and soul of Grey’s.

Best Supporting Actress Comedy

Kristen Chenoweth Pushing Daisies

Jane Krakowski 30 Rock

Elizabeth Perkins Weeds

Amy Poehler Saturday Night Live

Kristin Wiig Saturday Night Live

Vanessa L. Williams Ugly Betty

Jane Krakowski is one of my favorite actresses of all time.

Frank McCourt also dies this weekend after a battle with cancer and meningitis. His was a fascinating  story. Not famous outside of being an eccentric NYC teacher, he published one of the most elegant, tragic, beautiful memoirs in history. I’ve read Angela’s Ashes and ‘Tis numerous times. He found humor in the hypocrisy and poverty of his life and inspired me to find the truth in my own voice as a writer, even while writing snarky recaps for TV shows.

Best Drama

Big Love

Breaking Bad

Damages

Dexter

House

Lost

Mad Men

Best Comedy

Entourage

Family Guy

Flight of the Conchords

How I Met Your Mother

The Office

30 Rock

Weeds

Best Television Mini Series

Generation Kill

Little Dorrit

Best Television Movie

Coco Chanel

Grey Gardens

Into The Storm

Prayers for Bobby

Taking Chance

Best Reality Competition Series

The Amazing Race

American Idol

Dancing With The Stars

Project Runway

Top Chef

Best Reality Series

Antiques Roadshow

Dirty Jobs

Dog Whisperer

Intervention

Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D List

Mythbusters

Best Variety, Music, or Comedy Special

Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome America: A Final Night with George W. Bush

Ricky Gervais: Out Of England

Kathy Griffin: She’ll Cut A Bitch

The Kennedy Center Honors

Chris Rock: Kill The Messenger

Best Variety, Music, or Comedy Series

The Colbert Report

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

Late Show with David Letterman

Real Time with Bill Maher

Saturday Night Live

Best Actor Drama

Simon Baker The Mentalist

Gabriel Byrne In Treatment

Bryan Cranston Breaking Bad

Michael C. Hall Dexter

Jon Hamm Mad Men

Hugh Laurie House

Best Actor Comedy

Alec Baldwin 30 Rock

Steve Carrell The Office

Jermaine Clement Flight of the Conchords

Jim Parsons The Big Bang Theory

Tony Shaloub Monk

Charlie Sheen Two And A Half Men

Best Actor Mini Series or Movie

Kevin Bacon Taking Chance

Kenneth Branagh Wallander: One Step Behind

Kevin Kline Cyrano de Bergerac: Great Performances

Brendan Gleeson Into The Storm

Sir Ian McKellan King Lear: Great Performances

Keifer Sutherland 24: Redemption

Best Actress Drama

Glenn Close Damages

Sally Field Brothers and Sisters

Mariska Hargitay Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Holly Hunter Saving Grace

Elisabeth Moss Mad Men

Kyra Sedgwick The Closer

Best Actress Comedy

Christina Applegate Samantha Who?

Toni Colette United States of Tara

Julia Louis- Dreyfus The New Adventures of Old Christine

Tina Fey 30 Rock

Mary Louise Parker Weeds

Sarah Silverman The Sarah Silverman Program

Best Actress Mini Series or Movie

Drew Barrymore Grey Gardens

Jessica Lange Grey Gardens

Shirley MacLaine Coco Chanel

Sigourney Weaver Prayers For Bobby

Chandra Wilson Accidental Friendship

Best Reality Host

Tom Bergeron Dancing With the Stars

Phil Keoghan The Amazing Race

Heidi Klum Project Runway

Padma Lakshimi and Tom Colicchio Top Chef

Jeff Probst Survivor

Ryan Seacrest American Idol

Best Supporting Actor Drama

Christian Clemenson Boston Legal

Michael Emerson Lost

William Hurt Damages

Aaron Paul Breaking Bad

William Shatner Boston Legal

John Slattery Mad Men

Best Supporting Actor Comedy

Jon Cryer Two and a Half Men

Kevin Dillon Entourage

Neil Patrick Harris How I Met Your Mother

Jack McBrayer 30 Rock

Tracy Morgan 30 Rock

Rainn Wilson The Office

Best Supporting Actor Mini Series or Movie

Len Cariou Into The Storm

Tom Courteney Little Dorrit

Ken Howard Grey Gardens

Bob Newhart The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice

Andy Serkis Little Dorrit

Best Supporting Actress Drama

Rose Byrne Damages

Hope Davis In Treatment

Cherry Jones 24

Sandra Oh Grey’s Anatomy

Dianne Weist In Treatment

Chandra Wilson Grey’s Anatomy

Best Supporting Actress Comedy

Kristen Chenoweth Pushing Daisies

Jane Krakowski 30 Rock

Elizabeth Perkins Weeds

Amy Poehler Saturday Night Live

Kristin Wiig Saturday Night Live

Vanessa L. Williams Ugly Betty

Best Supporting Actress Mini Series or Movie

Shohreh Aghdashloo House of Saddam

Marcia Gay Harden The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler

Janet McTeer Into The Storm

Jeanne Triplehorn Grey Gardens

Cicely Tyson Relative Stranger

Best Actor in a Guest Role Drama

Ed Asner ER

Ted Danson Damages

Ernest Borgnine ER

Michael J. Fox Rescue Me

Jimmy Smits Dexter

Best Actor in a Guest Role Comedy

Alan Alda 30 Rock

Beau Bridges Desperate Housewives

Jon Hamm 30 Rock

Steve Martin 30 Rock

Justin Timberlake Saturday Night Live

Best Actress in a Guest Role Drama

Brenda Blethyn Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Carol Burnett  Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Ellen Burstyn  Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

Sharon Lawrence Grey’s Anatomy

CCH Pounder No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency

Best Actress in a Guest Role Comedy

Jennifer Aniston 30 Rock

Christine Baranski The Big Bang Theory

Tina Fey Saturday Night Live

Gena Rowlands Monk

Elaine Stritch 30 Rock

Betty White My Name Is Earl

Below is the list of nominees I suspect will happen and frankly, pretty much as it should be.

Best Supporting Actor- Drama

Jeremy Davies (Lost)

Walton Goggins ( The Shield)

Robert Sean Leonard ( House)

John Noble ( Fringe)

Aaron Paul ( Breaking Bad)

William Shatner ( Boston Legal)

I’m not a watcher of Lost, but everyone I know has been raving about Davies’ performance this season. I’m troubled more by the fact Goggins has NEVER BEEN NOMINATED. Tragic. Also quite tragic is Leonard, who also has NEVER BEEN NOMINATED. What the hell, Emmys? Goggins and Leonard both have been the heart of their respective shows, and Goggins’ character went down swinging in The Shields final season. Leonard still doesn’t have a lot to do on House, but there were moments toward the end of the season where you see how important he really is to the show’s mythology. Noble’s delightfully off kilter performance on Fringehas been the most consistent thing about the show. Aaron Paul goes toe to toe with the incomparable Bryan Cranston every week and survives. And lastly, William Shatner is William fucking Shatner. He’s James T. Kirk and you’re not. Suck it.

Dark horse pick- Zachary Quinto (Heroes)

The best thing about this show for the past two seasons is Quinto’s steady, ferocious turn as the psychopathic Sylar. Bad writing doesn’t detract from this singular performance.

Best Supporting Actress- Drama

Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights)

Rose Byrne (Damages)

Katherine Heigl (Grey’s Anatomy)

Christina Hendricks ( Mad Men)

Alison Pill ( In Treatment)

CCH Pounder (The Shield)

Again, Britton is on a show I don’t watch, but everyone keeps raving about her in particular. Byrne is on a show with a strong female lead and she holds her own beautifully. Heigl may be a brat, but she brought some soul back to GA after the ghost sex ( again, bad writing should not detract from a good performance). Hendricks is so stunning that it’s easy to forget her subtle work in Mad Men. Pill has been the only patient in the second season of In Treatmentthat I felt was compelling enough for me to turn into watch every week. And Pounder’s beleaguered Claudette remains one of the great female characters in the cannon of cop dramas.

Dark horse pick- Chandra Wilson (Grey’s Anatomy)

The true heart and soul of GA, she deserves it more than Heigl, but lacks the star power of the movie star, or the shock and awe storyline. But when I do sit and watch this show, she’s the real reason why.

Best Supporting Actor-Comedy

Adam Baldwin (Chuck)

Neil Patrick Harris ( How I Met Your Mother)

Simon Helberg ( The Big Bang Theory)

Tracy Morgan ( 30 Rock)

Jeremy Piven ( Entourage)

Jason Segel ( How I Met Your Mother)

I honestly think Baldwin’s Col. John Casey is Chuck‘s best acting shot- because even though he’s a closed off grunting hard ass, Baldwin never let’s us forget his humanity or his humor. The fact Harris has not won an Emmy is one of the great crimes. Helberg’s horny nerd from hell is surprisingly well drawn for a character that was originally an after thought. Piven still rocks the world on Entourage.Morgan’s dim witted comedian is now my favorite character on a show full of brilliant writing and acting. Segel has been so good for so long on HIMYM.He may get outshone by Harris’ flashier role, but it’s time to give Segel some lovin’,  too.

dark horse pick: Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)

Oh. My. God. Naivete has never been so funny.

Best Supporting Actress- Comedy

Portia de Rossi ( Better Off Ted)

Jenna Fisher ( The Office)

Jane Krakowski (30 Rock)

Jean Smart (Samantha Who?)

Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother)

Vanessa L. Williams (Ugly Betty)

de Rossi has a habit of appearing on quirky comedies ( see: Ally McBeal, Arrested Development), but her ice queen boss takes the cake. Fisher still makes me care about the Jim-Pam story by being true to the moment. Krakowski’s over the top deluded diva had some brilliant moments this season ( in blackface, no less.) Smart won last year, and she still shines as Samantha’s over bearing mom. Smulders went from being the weak link on HIMYM to being it’s hidden gem, and I love the Canadianisms she clearly contributes to the writers for those awesome scripts. Betty  may be fading fast, but Williams’ Wilhemina is still the grandest grande dame of them all.

Dark horse pick- Alyson Hannigan ( How I Met Your Mother)

It’s tough to leave Hannigan out, since she had a truly great season despite being pregnant for most of it ( and absent for four weeks). Her Lily, the beer guzzling, potty mouthed kindergarten teacher, is a bright light in my dreary life.

Best Actor-Drama

Gabriel Byrne (In Treatment)

Michael Chiklis (The Shield)

Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad)

Jon Hamm (Mad Men)

Hugh Laurie (House)

Denis Leary ( Rescue Me)

Byrne’s detailed performance as a shrink in need of help of his own is one of the finest wrought of the year. Chiklis (  former winner for this role) went down and was brilliant in the way he portrayed his character’s twisted logic and decaying worldview. Cranston is nearly unstoppable as the teacher with nothing to lose. Hamm’s suave, subdued performance seems to be almost forgotten with the bright lights of the women this season, but he was darkly brilliant.  Laurie is a perennial nominee and will be till his show ends or he wins one of these goddamnedthings. He’s so singularly brilliant he deserves every accolade.  And even though Rescue Me had an off season, Leary just keeps getting better. 

dark horse pick- Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights)

Because it’s a tough category, I don’t know if he’ll squeeze in.  But from what I have heard, Chandler’s performance is one of the best on TV.

Best Actress-Drama

Glenn Close ( Damages)

Mariska Hargitay ( Law and Order: Special Victims Unit)

January Jones ( Mad Men)

Elisabeth Moss (Mad Men)

Anna Paquin ( True Blood)

Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer)

Close won last year. Her ferocious turn this year is even better. Hargitay is another perennial nominee who delivers solid performances year in, year out. Jones and Moss both shined on a show that saw their character grow from meek women used by the men in their lives to fiercely independent minded pre feminist heroines. Paquin’s accent may be distracting, but her slightly slatterly, tempermental Sookie is a gem. And Sedgwickis just so good I had to include her. 

dark horse pick- Mary McDonnell ( Battlestar Galactica)

Another show I never quite got around to watching, another performance I have heard nothing but praise for, another show leaving the air, last shot for the gold.

Best Actor-Comedy

Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)

Kyle Bornheimer (Worst Week)

Steve Carrell ( The Office)

Lee Pace ( Pushing Daisies)

Jim Parsons ( The Big Bang Theory)

Charlie Sheen ( Two And A Half Men)

We have a couple of clueless bosses ( Baldwin’s Machiavellian Jack Donaghy, Carrell’s hapless Michael Scott). We have a smooth talking womanizer on a show i personally hate but kind of like him on it despite myself ( Sheen’s jingle writer Charlie Harper). We have a newcomer on a show that was cancelled just as it began to find it’s footing ( Bornheimer), playing a spazz to end all spazzes. We have a charming pie maker who can raise the dead on a single touch, making it really hard to make out with his girlfriend ( Pace’s melancholic Ned). And then we have a genius comic creation, a genius who is both OCD and clueless ( Parson’s hilarious Sheldon Cooper).

dark horse pick- Zachary Levi (Chuck)

My favorite performance by any comedic actor this year was in Chuck season two finale, at turns sad, charming, and thrilling. The show would not work without him. I hope Emmy voters notice.

Best Actress- Comedy

Christina Applegate (Samantha Who?)

Toni Colette ( The United States of Tara)

America Ferrera ( Ugly Betty)

Tina Fey (30 Rock)

Julia Louis Dreyfus (The New Adventures of Old Christine)

Mary Louise Parker (Weeds)

Applegate is well liked in the industry and I liked her on her show. Colette has a really tough road to hold and does it admirably well. Ferrera still sparkles through the dreariness that is Ugly Betty. Fey is my hero and I want to be like her when I grow up. Louis Dreyfus is on a much improved show that she was always good on ( now, she’s pretty fantabulous). Parker handles the more dramatic moments of her drug dramedy as effectively as the high comedy moments.

dark horse pick- Kaley Cuoco ( The Big Bang Theory)

It’s easy to dismiss her as another blonde starlet on a TV show, but she is so much more than that. She grounds the four male leads in a snese of reality, she’s the every(wo)man we need to handle the world of these four geniuses. Her role is harder than it looks and she does it better than I ever thought she would. Her growth as an actor this past season is welcomed.

Best Drama

Breaking Bad

House

In Treatment

Lost

Mad Men

The Shield

It honestly will come down to the two AMC dramas, but as much as I love Mad Men, I think Breaking Bad is even more ground breaking, earth shattering, and ultimately, a better show.

Dark horse pick- Friday Night Lights

Critics love this show to the point of  column over saturation. Give it an Emmy nod.

Best Comedy

30 Rock

The Big Bang Theory

How I Met Your Mother

The Office

Two And A Half Men

The United States Of Tara

If anything beats 30 Rock, I’ll be surprised.

Dark Horse pick- Better Off Ted

It’s original! It’s fresh! It’s new! It actually is really good. And it was a mid season replacement. I would not be adverse with Emmy handing some love over to this show.

But now, back to the task at hand. We have said goodbye to Vitolio and AsukaAuskaAlaska, and the other two that I completely forgot the names of… Jonathan and Jessica? Jack and Jill? Cheech and Chong?… since I last wrote something on the subject of So You Think You Can Folk Dance. In the time it took for these people to leave, I had decided that the dancers this season were far superior than usual, but that didn’t make them interesting. At least the right dead weight is being cut. Dancers that are clearly weaker in both talent and personality have gone the way of the hustle, and I’m okay with that. My early faves are all still pretty much here. Nothing shocking, as Jane’s Addiction would say.

So I entered this week without feeling the jazz hands feeling I usually get when my favorite reality shows are on. And as Cat the Amazon Goddess meandered onto the stage, I smiled. Not because I have a huge girl crush on said tall Brit blonde bombshell, but because she was wearing a dress I would actually wear myself. Which made me love her more. Which made my kids go, ” Mom, you have that weird look on your face again.”

Our dancers, bless their tired, blistered feet, have the task of doing two-TWO!- dances this week. Twice the awesomeness, or twice the disaster? Worse- it could be twice the mediocrity, and that just won’t do.

I loved Melissa and Ade’s pas de deux last week. En pointe ballet on a televised dance show? On a channel that isn’t PBS, no less? Mon dieu, quelle surprise! But it showed that Ade lacks foot technique, and i felt some of his personality was sapped by the serious nature of the BALLET! mentality. So when he and Melissa hit disco, I had hopes that it would soar. And Ade did. Melissa… not so much. She was sloppy, and it ended up making the whole dance sloppy. Her fall at the end basically confirmed to me she wasn’t on her game ( dancers fall all the time, but Ade stopped her from a giant ass pound on the ground). And those costumes- Melissa looked like she was wearing a rejected proto type for Rainbow Brite, and Ade clearly raided Huggy Bear’s finer threads. Shiny, was all I could think of. Needless to say, I was not as amazed as the judges were saying, and I honestly think Melissa is the weakest lady left.

Kupono and Kayla luck out with a Mia Michaels contemporary piece about addiction. Mia is a genius, we have clearly established that the only person I love more on this show than Mia is Adam, who tweeted at one point that he will not be on the show again till the finale ( cue bawling in the corner). But I digress… Kupono is totally compelling in this dance as addiction, and Kayla, with her impeccable feet and gorgeous lines, is emotionally wrenching as the addict trying to escape. Contemporary dances dealing with difficult themes are prone to pretension. Not this dance. It was jaw droppingly great, powerful and heartbreaking. Then Nigel bitches about Kayla’s hair. Are your FREAKIN” kidding me?????

Caitlin and Jason are stuck with couple killer the foxtrot, and it was- fine. Jason was way to stiff ( he was desperately trying to maintain his frame and just came off looking like he had a pole up his ass). It felt slow and joyless. Not enough actual foxtrot, to much acrobatics and lifts ( although the lifts were great). It could have been a moderately quick waltz for all the lack of fun ( and the foxtrot can be tremendously fun if you have the right partner). And then the judges were a little too kind in their critiques. I know people feel like they were throwing Caitlin and Jason under the bus. I don’t.

Philip and Jeanine ended up with Russian folk. Wha’? I know nothing about Russian folk, but it looked wildly out of place on the show and so all I can say is… Wha’? I hope that Philip and Jeanine manage to hang on, but they will be one of the bottom three couples.

Randi and Evan, who are both still so friggin’ cute, get a Tabby Nap ( I am NOT calling them Nappy Tab ever) hip hop routine that suits them. No one will ever mistake those two sweet people for gangstas. And the dance itself was fine. But the point of hip hop is the rough side of it. Sweet doesn’t bring out the best of hip hop. In fact, it wasn’t hip hop, it was Prep Hop. Sweater vests? Really?

Brandon and Janette have become my favorite dance couple despite the fact I can’t really stand Brandon. But a good dancer is a good dancer, and he’s a great dancer. They get the always difficult Argentine tango and blow my mind. Her salsa dancing back ground helps her with the strong lines and sharp angles of the dance, and his strength makes their lifts larger than life. Not only is it the best dance so far, it’s one of the best of the season. Nigel says nothing off the top of his critiques, but gives them a standing ovation.

Cat, still looking scrumptious in her classy dress, then tells us next week is the partnership trades. No one will be dancing with the same person. Poor Evan is all I can think.

Melissa and Ade return with a waltz. And she’s better than him this time. Her rises and falls, her extensions, her lines are all superior. He is a great base for those stunning lifts, but his actual waltz steps are very flat footed and not as elegant as they need to be. But he does do a flawless pirouette.

Kayla and Kupono are given the most recognizable dance music form a Broadway show in the last fifty years with ” Dance At the Gym” ( West Side Story), but it seems wrong somehow without the traditional Robbins choreography. But Joey Dowling’s new step are in keeping with the Robbins tradition and I adore her. Too bad Kupono couldn’t find the right emotional beats on this one.  It’s ultimately sweet and light, but lacking any urgency or heat.

Jason and Caitlin get a Mandy Moore lyrical jazz piece that was gorgeous but empty. I never felt compelled to watch a dance by a choreographer I usually can’t avoid immersing myself. That wans’t the choreographer’s fault, as stylistically the dance was one the superior numbers of the night. Caitlin and Jason just don’t do it for me. She’s an ice princess, he’s a wooden block.

Philip and Jeanine score a jive, and it’s pretty friggin’ awesome. Sloppy, but awesome. It’s cheeky, sly fun, and Philip, even with the slip and some foot work errors, is clearly learning. Jeanine is frankly carrying them when they aren’t doing hip hop, but both are so tremendously likable, even with a plac ein the bottom three, I don’t think they’ll go home ( Philip’s place as the last of the hip hoppers probably solidifies him, too).

Evan and Randi got the samba, choreographed by former contestants Pasha and Anya. And the choreography was strong and unique. But Randi and Evan both seemed timid dancing the sexually aggressive dance, and I never bought it for a second. The lift transitions seemed awkward and slowed the dances down significantly, the extensions were weak, and there was little ass shaking. A disappointment all round from this charming and sweet duo.

My notes on Brandon and Janette’s Wade Robson jazz routine is a mere four words: precise, smooth, synched, flawless. It was all these things and more. It was fun, charming, modern- Robson’s name in the dance world is at the point it’s whispered in hushed, reverent tones, and routines like this is why. The dance of the season.  That is as close to perfection as it gets, folks.

The partner trade next week worries me. There are couples who have ridiculous chemistry together right now. I’m scared that some of the great from this week will be lost again as they search to settle into their new relationships.

Overall:

Brandon and Janette

Kayla and Kupono

Melissa and Ade

Philip and Jeanine

Caitlin and Jason

Evan and Randi.

Lil’ C is this weks guest judge. ( Adam Shankman tweeted earlier today he won’t be back till the finale- *sob*).

Evan and Randi are up first with the jive. I thought they would nail it. They didn’t. Their flick kicks were surprisingly weak. But it was a solid routine danced well ( Louis Van Amstel has slid into the role of  SYTYCD choreographer like I do into love with guys name Zach… easily and with style). They had good synchronization and I did love Evan’s split jump.

Ade and Melissa were given an odd Sonya routine. Sonya is always an odd choreographer. I love her as much as I hate her. And I thought that Melissa and Ade were strong, fierce, and perectly in sync with each other. I love Melissa’s feet. Ballerinas always have perfect points.

Caitlin and Jason, neither hiphoppers, are stuck with a Shane Sparks hiphop routine. They did fine with it, but it wasn’t typical hiphop and it lacked a certain ferocity. Jason was better than Citlin, who was clearly out of her element.

Brandon and Janette are saddled with a couple killer damce for the second week in a row with disco. And they were solid, save for a small trip towards the end by Janette. It was fine, with some great lifts that showed off Brandon’s strength and Janette’s flexibility. But was it worthy of the over the top judges praise? No.

Asuka and Vitolio get the waltz as their dance, and it’s lovely. The waltz is rarely an exciting dance, so you have to step it up in the elegance and emotional departments, and they did. Too bad Vitolio is such an ass. The steps were a little off at times, but I love that death spiral.

Oh. God. Bryan Friedman.

Max and Kayla get “pop jazz” ( fer chrissakes, that’s not a style, and they can’t make it one). But it’s the strongest routine so far, expertly danced by two very talented dancers. Both Max and Kayla are extremely charismatic while they dance, and it was hard to take my eyes off them.

Jonathan and Karla are up next. Stacy Tookey is from SYTYCd Canada, and she did some of the best routines last year. Glad to see her hit the mothership. And her contemporary dance was exquisite. It was emotional and gentle, with gorgeous lines and lifts. Jonathan was great ( not as great as Mary thought, but whatever, he was better than he was last week) and Karla shone. Wow.

Phillip and Jeanine are doing a tango. Poor Phillip. Hope he’s okay.

And he is not. Those lines were weak, the steps were simple but careless, the lifts were awkward, and they dropped frame numerous times. Sad, really.

Ashley and Kupono have to wow us in hiphop ( stank faces on, everyone!). And while it was better than the first hiphop routine, it was not at all fantastic. Stong step, but the dance didn’t seem to go anywhere.

Top three: Jonathan and Karla, Max and Kayla, and Asuka and Vitolio.

Bottom three: Caitlin and Jason, Phillip and Jeanine, Ashley and Kupono.

See you tomorrow night.

The prelim rounds gave us some great stories and one great dancer to watch ( I’m a huge Evan fan, but I cannot do what he does). So I enter my annual SYTYCD love fest with the hope that I will see great, Hot Tamale train worthy dancing.

Tonight’s third judge is personal fave- Mr. Adam Shankman.

And we start off well with Phillip and Jeanine’s hiphop routine. I love the story, and Jeanine surprised me with all that ballet training by being a credible hiphop dancer ( I knew Phillip would shine). It leads to Mary’s first scream of the season.

Asuka and Vitolio disappoint with their dull, humorless Broadway dance. Not good.

Jonathan and Karla’s cha cha was really unpleasant. It lacked any significant cha cha steps.  Jonathan had the hip action but no real spice. Don’t get the judges love at all.

Randi and Evan’s jazz number, though, was steamy, sexy, HAWT. Those feet were perfect, the lines spectacular, and I loved every second of it. Evan remains my fave, and Unitard girl Randi has bumped up a few notches.

Paris and Tony do another hiphop number. For being a hiphop dancer, Tony disappointed me. They both hit the steps, but the rebound didn’t exist.  The dance came off as amateurish and slow.

Caitlin and Jason get Bollywood this week. Bollywood is counter intuitive to dance too for Western style dancers like Caitlin and Jason. It requires flat feet and wonky hands. But they nailed it. Fun, vibrant, charming.

Janette and Brandon pull the contestant killer Foxtrot. The lifts were divine. But the actual foxtrot step- mediocre. Brandon did show much more personality than he did at any point of Vegas week. Janette is a saucy thing, too.

Ashley and Kupono score a Wade Robson “jazz” number ( it looked more contemporary). It was a high concept dance, and I’m still processing. The dancing was stellar, I must admit. But the character and theme was odd and distracting to me.

Melissa and Ade have contemporary. And it’s gorgeous, fluid, pretty, stunning, romantic. I loved it, loved it, loved it.  The judges point about quiet power resonates. Strong male dancers sometimes forget to take it down a notch when in a quiet dance like this one.

Kayla and Max are stuck with the samba. The samba has always been my least favorite dance, as it can look like a train wreck when done incorrectly. But Max ( trained in ballroom) and Kayla ( not trained in ballroom at all) not only nailed it, they threw down the gauntlet and told everyone to come and steal it if they want it. Stunning.

Top three couples:

Max and Kayla

Randi and Evan

Caitlin and Jason

Bottom Three

Paris and Tony

Asuka and Vitolio

Jonathan and Karla